Written by: Dana Coen; Watch Now: – Sorry, not available on Amazon
The government was taking legal action against a contractor of defective aircraft Heads Up Display (HUD) units so the JAG, Chegwidden (C), wanted Harm (H) to take him up in an F14 in order to “understand” the problem which was making pilots disoriented. Chegwidden loosened his belt before a maneuver, hit his head on the canopy and accidentally pulled the ejection lever blasting him out of the plane and into a snowy forest. His survival gear consisted, in part, of a rubber raft, tent, matches and a condom (no winter clothing). He set up the tent and built a fire on a flat snowy place, chipped a trough in a frozen log, built a fire, heated rocks, melted snow in the trough and caught the water in the condom- both to drink and to mark an arrow in the snow. Unfortunately he had made camp on a lake and the fire melted the ice, dropping both he and his gear in the water. Freezing, he began hallucinating about being by a fire with Meredith (Md) on Valentines day and receiving the large silver heart inscribed with: “A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart,” words from Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor.
Harm was told that “he had done enough” by “dumping a two star in the forest” and should go back home. Instead he took the worn Hum-Vee he was offered for transportation into the forest to look for C. He found Cs original camp site but he was gone. Just as the search helicopter had picked up the signal beacon, C was attacked on the arm by a wolf which knocked him into the raft that then slid down the mountainside. The helicopter saw the signal look like it was on a snowmobile then disappear. Chegwidden fired his signal flare but it misfired and hit a log setting it on fire. It did keep him warm enough until an abandoned dog found him. He followed the dog to some garbage cans. Harm’s Hum-Vee wouldn’t start so he began following Cs trail on foot and was frustrated because C kept moving around. Finally he stumbled into a diner and asked to start a search party and offered a reward. The waitress pointed to a booth in the corner where C was sitting huddled in blankets drinking coffee. He was taken to the hospital where he met Meredith and told her that he loved her. Startled she thought he was under stress so he told her of the heart and said “I’ve had to run through fire and water to get to the feelings I have, are you backing out?” He also introduced her to the “other lady” – the dog which he had decided to adopt.
Mac (M) was judge on a case where Turner (T) was prosecuting PO Matthew Cantrell for putting a small video camera in the female head, ostensibly to look for mice. Bud’s (B) only defense was that he was doing it in the line of duty and as a favor to the women to “prevent the mice from making electrical sparks and fire while the women were using the facility.” Mac didn’t buy it for a minute and told B and H to work it out before she had to rule on it, asking B to “look at my face” and see if he would like the verdict. Bud and T negotiated him out of the service. Mac tried to keep Cs disappearance a secret but Coates (Co), who she had sworn to secrecy in order to watch the phones, told Tiner (Ti) then Harriet (Ht) then B then T. Finally the whole crew knew more of the details than M.