Straits of Malacca – 221

Written by: Darcy Meyers; Watch Now: – Sorry, not available on Amazon

[Another one of this seasons JAG episodes with poorly defined new characters made worse by writers untrue to existing characters, and insulting to viewers, by merely telling us we should overlook what they’ve done so far instead of giving us a storyline which would develop our change of mind.]

A ship, the Palau, became disabled and asked for the assistance of Captain Manning Donovan of the USS Condon. When they arrived, assistance was refused making Donovan suspect pirates. The JAG, Cresswell (Cr), sent Mac (M) to negotiate the release of the crew and capture Akay Anwar who had a reputation of killing the entire crew of a ship if any person resisted. Cr made her take Vukovic (V) with her, explaining: 1- he is a surface officer, and 2- to “make a man out of him. He just needs direction and discipline.” She said he was “too much a man and not enough lawyer.” Cr said that V and Harm were “too much alike” [Huh?] to be assigned together. Cr told M to “consider it a vote of confidence.” She said it was “more like a plaque of locusts.”

Anwar realized that he couldn’t get away with anything with M, so he turned the rhetoric into one of being an issue with a “woman.” Vukovic just took the microphone, countermanded M, and said “just send the hostages and you can go.” They set up a trap to capture Anwar when the pirates feigned being hostages and tried to take over the Condon. Anwar had already killed the Palau’s whole crew, except four which had escaped in a lifeboat.

Then, Commander Sandakan, of the Indonesian KRI Mataram, shot across the bow of the Condon and demanded custody of Anwar. Donovan was ordered to “cease resisting” while an un-named white house lackey [instead of the SECNAV] told Cr “my boss can beat up your boss.” Then Indonesian Admiral Lutarno boarded the Condon to hold a so-called “custody hearing.” Vukovic arrogantly tried to force M into “clearing the air,” saying he didn’t feel comfortable in proceeding until they had done so. M said she wasn’t concerned with his “comfort level” and he said he wanted to be “on the same page.” She said we’re not in the same book or even library!” She told him to just “listen” but instead he insulted Lutarno, then refusing to inform M (or anyone), walked out of the hearing, commandeered a boat and boarded the Pulau (without a sidearm). Then, completely from out of nowhere, Donovan did a “heart-to-heart” about V being a “train wreck” and M should “cut him some slack.” [probably directed to the viewers]. Mac and V had deduced that the Pulau had made explosives from their fertilizer cargo and ships fuel. Capt Donovan, still suspecting treachery, found the Pulau had been repaired and was now heading for Singapore – and of course now V was on it! Indonesia finally wised up and accepted U.S. help, so M was “inserted” along with some with SEALs, onto the Pulau. She found and saved V who then, with 15 min left, defied logic and grandstanded disarming a small cell phone detonator risking early explosion, [instead of simply moving it away from the room with the explosives.] M told him, “it’s a good thing you were as good as you think you are.”

Bud (B) and Harriett (Ht) held an open house so that people could meet their new twins (only the girl’s name was revealed – Nicky). Harm (H) appeared at the party, “passing through” on his way to Florida, ostensibly to help with hurricane aftermath assessment. Mattie, he said, is taking flying lessons, coming to visit over spring break and is going to the prom with Kevin. Cr’s wife Dora was introduced as a real “people person,” counterbalance to Cr. Their daughter Cammie (18) is in her first year at Annapolis and flirted with Mikey until Cr introduced her as his daughter and told them to “chaperone yourselves appropriately.” Cammie told Mk, “don’t even think about asking me out” as she was a plebe; and, he said he was third year so “don’t think about it either.” She dropped her books on the sidewalk at school and he, not at first knowing it was her, braced her up. As others were looking, she told him that he was supposed to be asking her questions so he asked her “what color underwear are you wearing(?!!)” She said “what part of sexual harassment DO you understand?” Uncharacteristically, Cr talked to Bud about having a daughter, raising her midst boys, and teaching them to “hold their own.” Unbelievably, he told B that he thought he had “taught Cammie not to back down from anything and had probably gone too far.” Dora appeared and told B that “only good parents have doubts. It’s the one’s who think they know it all that never learn a thing.” Cammie was “killed” in paintball at the academy by Mk. She cheated by taking off her spattered shirt then, when Mk called her on it, she bargained for each of them to give fair passage and stay in the game. When he agreed, she shot him anyway and said “sometimes you’ve got to play dirty to win.” Then, out of the blue, Cammie took a “day off” from the academy and told Cr she “was pretty much a social washout because you’ve raised me to see everyone as a rival.” She didn’t make friends “because I’m too busy trying to win all the time.” She wants out of Annapolis because “you don’t know how hard it is being a woman there!” She hadn’t thought it through to make other plans. Dora told Cr “blaming yourself for the way our kids (also Cade-15) turned out won’t change anything.”

[The most incredible part of the script] Mac asked V if he was “always going to be this insubordinate?” He responded: “When I give MY respect it’s because they’ve earned it … like you did.” [oh, what an arrogant wad of phlegm!]

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