King of the Greenie Board – 86

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[DJEs contract renewed and he is now on a carrier flying F14s as “Pappy”]

Harm (H) is on the carrier Patrick Henry flying F14s with Skates as his RIO. He suffered a bird strike and was streaming fuel so needed an emergency refueling. Lt. Andrew Buxton, (known as X-man) although almost empty himself, broke off from the tanker so H could refuel and said he “had plenty” despite suggestion that they both wait for the next tanker. Harm did a single engine, hard, landing on the 3 wire and Buxton hooked the 1 wire after an engine flame out. Harm had 6 straight “green” landings and was catching Buxton on the “greenie board” a running summary of their landings. Buxton reveled that he was the “king” of the “greenie board” and referred to himself in the 3rd person as “the X-man.” Captain Pike, the CAG, chewed Buxton out for not waiting for more fuel. A real fleet JAG “weenie,” Lt. Aldridge, briefed the pilots on the rules of engagement in real “gobbledegook” language such that Buxton asked “and if we have to scratch our 6 do we have to phone the president?” After Aldridge left, the CAG told them that “if a MIG is on your 6 and locks you WILL see a missile come off its rails.”

The CAG tried to bring H in the middle of it but he kept giving a true lawyers skillful, non-committal answer. Buxton challenged Hs allegiance and H said “we’re the good guys Buxton, we didn’t get that way by firing first.” The CAG had H take over as division leader from Buxton. Buxton brought up charges on his plane captain (Griggs) when a new Infrared Pod came off on take off. Harm was asked to investigate the incident by the CAG. Griggs said that the new device was “a Murphy” and would go on either frontward or backwards. Several people, including Buxton himself, hadn’t done a thorough pre-flight check so H recommended that Griggs not be charged. Buxton flew off the handle and said he wouldn’t have Griggs back; so, H said he’d take him and advised Buxton that “he’s too good to be yours.”

Before their next mission they watched as Admiral Takushkin came aboard as a Russian observer. They were also told that there was a “spy plane” with a radio-controlled, gyro-stabilized telescope in a Lear jet watching them. Buxton went after a “lone” MIG despite being told he was beyond bounds and to disengage and H warning him that they always flew in pairs. When the second MIG got a lock on Buxton from behind H had to engage a lock on it too. Despite Buxton’s urgings for H to fire he waited and the MIG disengaged. Again, the CAG chewed Buxton saying “you can’t be all plumbing and no forehead.” Harm, perfunctorily took the blame, and CAG told him to “teach Buxton something.” Harm told the arrogant Buxton that he “confused reality with his score on the greenie board.” Pissed off, Buxton maligned H to his RIO as just being jealous and claimed that he’d prove he was better “the next time I’m up.”

They were assigned to do a photo recon of mass grave sites and H went to take care of the spy plane while Buxton went to get the photos. Harms warnings to the spy plane went unheeded, so he flew in front of the Lear and did a fuel dump on it. Buxton saw a vehicle heading down the road toward some civilians and, despite warnings, strafed it. When they arrived back on board the CAG charged him with killing Russian peacekeepers.

Mac (M) was promoted to Lt Col and had a “private” wetting down. Harriet (Ht) brought little AJ into JAG in his sailor suit. Tiner (Ti) was driving Chegwidden (C) crazy with his ineptitude about office procedures. Mac was prosecuting Corporal Winrow, against Brumby (Brum) for misfiring a “Brimstone 2000” anti-tank weapon and starting a fire. He had gone out and gotten drunk the night before. Brum was still, relentlessly, pursuing M socially and bet her dinner on the outcome of the case. Brum was loosing until M called her own witness, Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez (G), who was just then accepting a job with the guns manufacturer. On the stand, and to her surprise, he disclosed that the weapon had a faulty guidance system when it got over 90 degrees. He had gotten into the companies files at night to research the problem. Winrow was acquitted and M had a talk with the G, being impressed by his pursuit of truth despite personal inconvenience. She talked him into applying with C to run the JAG office. When C commented on Gs prior boxing during his interview, he commented that he held his own – especially against SEALS! Chegwidden told him that he knew one SEAL he’d have trouble with and stared at him down his nose in a stand off. He told G that there were navy people in the office he’d have to deal with and G replied “if I’m the gunny they will have to deal with me.” He was hired.

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