Unknown Soldier – 225

Cresswell’s (Cr) brother Wallace (a former Vietnam SEAL who was traumatized and disaffected from his Vietnam service) asked him to investigate the found remains of a soldier he believed to be a Marine helicopter pilot Lt. Joe Johnson. Creswell gave JAG attorney Vukovick (V) 5 days to investigate and ostensibly “see the jazz festival.” Lt. Catherine Graves (Gr) was also assigned and she had to “coerce” V into “doing his job” as he wanted to slack off all the time. They drove to Johnson’s hometown Vicksburg while V was asleep in the car. A newspaperman told them that Joe’s brother Elroy (they needed his DNA for ID of the remains) was a blues guitarist and knew Loretta McKeely in Tutwiler. Then Loretta told them that Elroy had divorced her for some “Jezebel” (actually her sister April-Dawn). Then April-Dawn said Elroy had divorced her for “Candy Graham” another singer and gave them a home made record.
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Two Towns – 224

[This episode was skillfully written to compare incidents in two towns: Kresge OK and Talasura Iraq; along with two people undergoing trials. It is actually the same plot in two different settings with differently named characters; and, is quite good considering Harm (H) and Mac (M) are in “parallel play,” again.]

Lance Cpl. Scott Van Arsdale and two of his buddies saw Ma’Mun Al-Reza hurry distractedly out of their platoon mess tent just before a bomb had exploded. Scott had stopped to tie his shoe so was the only one of 17 reservists from Kresge not killed. JAG officers Harm and Bud (B) were sent to Kresge to help process survivor benefits, so happened to be in the story line to investigate the fire bombing of the Reserve Center which happened while they were there. The whole town turned out to see Scott’s homecoming. Mayor Hazlet, an attorney turned real estate agent, said that all of the boys had worked on their parents farms and had joined the reserves together in support of their country and families. They were combat engineers and none complained when they were called up. Within minutes of the center burning, the sheriff caught Scott nearby, smelling like gas, and guiltily, preemptively saying “you’ve got the wrong man.” Harm heard that Scott had a “strong moral center” but had refused to talk to his pastor. Cliff Pardee, the military rejected brother of Scott’s dead friend said that Scott was a “goody, goody” who “even picked up litter on the way to school.” However, they heard nothing which would exonerate Scott so they recommended article 32. The town, however, blockaded his removal to Washington saying “we’ve given up enough of our boys, you’re going to have to fight for this one.”
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The Four Percent Solution – 206

[A substantial and significant JAG episode – Cdr. McCool’s words are in italics.]

Christmas eve Mac (M) was driving home from the JAG office in the rain, and was distracted by her personal feelings, triggered by a radio program, causing her to total her car. During the ambulance ride, she had “flashbacks within flashbacks” back to the previous two months. She had gone to see Lt. Cdr. V. McCool for sleeping pills, due to having insomnia. Mac was flippant and evasive. McCool was judgmental, challenging and not above holding the prescription over Ms head in order to extract information. Mac finally told her that Webb (W) had faked his own death, deceived her, had no sense of what he put her through and did it with his mother’s help! Dalton had been stalking her, and had been shot by a cop who was also stalking her. She was saved by Harm (H) but not before being captured and held. She revealed that she had been leaving the lights off at night in her apartment. “Not having to look at choices you’ve made.”
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One Big Boat – 212

[The JAG series has clearly changed direction. Inane, fluffy, “Soapbox drama” issues, with contrived conflict, now outweigh good plot and action in nearly every episode.]

Unannounced, Mattie (Mt) had Harm (H) sign her custody relinquishment papers; then, proceeded to whine the whole show that H had done it. She needed to talk to Mac (M) about “why H didn’t make a fuss!” M told her that H was “at a place in his life that he didn’t need to posses someone to love them.” Harm had to qualify in F-18s and wasn’t there for the custody relinquishment hearing. When he returned, he accidentally caught Mt packed and leaving. He gave her a note to open later, but she opened it in the elevator anyway. It contained Hs wings and a note stating “fair winds and following seas.”
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Hail and Farewell (Part I) – 205

[Season finale (a real downer!)]

An attempt to rescue three men in a Zodiac life raft, during a severe storm, failed. Three of the men attempting the rescue, drowned as well. Chegwidden (C) sent Turner (T) to the Thomas Lyons to investigate, where he was stonewalled by the captain claiming to have a “classified” mission. Turner found little information, but when he went to fax his report back to C, the communications officer said he would have to “check” the names in T’s report against those on the “list” which were not to be released. Looking over his shoulder, T saw that Webb (W) was one of the classified three, who had been drowned. Webb had told Mac (M) that he was going to Germany, and promised that he would make his absence bearable for her by communicating with her every day. She began receiving German gifts, including a German singing group, and had flashbacks of their last few times together and his promises. Turner returned and bumbled around M which made her suspicious. She went to Ws office and found Laurie June, his assistant, closing out his office. She discovered that Laurie had been sending M the presents, as if they had been sent by W himself, and tricked her into admitting that W was in the Tripler morgue.
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Hard Time – 201

[This is such an incredibly absurd episode, and the expectation that the JAG audience is gullible enough to believe it is so condescending, that it reduces it to the level of an adolescent ‘soapbox opera’ or ‘sitcom.’ It is hard for me to believe that it even deserves retelling! I wouldn’t, except that the premise, that two ‘poppy seed’ bagels can ever be ‘mistakenly’ the source of a false positive drug screen, cannot be left unchallenged. Ms. Cohen not only wrote an exceedingly poor episode; but, compounded it by perpetuating a drug user myth, and completely fabricating her own medical reality. The premises are childish, the dialog fabricated and the actions are out-of-character.]

Mac (M) prosecuted PFC Michelle Boyer for ‘Heroin use’ and won a conviction yielding a one-year confinement. The ‘brig-chaser’ let Boyer get in M’s face and ask if she’d ever “regretted sending someone away?” Then, when M answered ‘no,’ Boyer cold-cocked M to the ground. Turner asked for another three years, and the judge gave her four! Then, when M found that the same incompetent ‘brig-chaser’ was being assigned to move Boyer across country, she asked the convening authority, Col Okerman, to assign someone else. You guessed it, Okerman was the overused, arrogant, condescending, resenting women in the military, type and refused Ms request. Then, when Chegwidden (C) tried to intervene, Okerman demanded that M be assigned to do it, [!] and unbelievably C agreed [!!]
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Close Quarters – 189

[An odd little JAG episode where Chegwidden acts like a pompous ass, Turner an uncertain patsy and the plot is barely believable. A lot of ‘parallel play’ fragments the storyline making the synopsis difficult]

In the sea of Japan Cdr Joyner’s sub, USS Cathedral City, rescued North Korean sailors while they were spying on South Korea and their minisub sunk on a reef. The JAG, Chegwidden (C), sent Turner (T) to “see what’s up” and decide if the spies are “combatants or survivors.” Chegwidden also told him to “come back with a new attitude.” Unfortunately an arrogant intel officer, Lt. Ye, was also dispatched to conduct intelligence interviews and interpret. Without provocation, he immediately bristled and tried to put T “in his place” during the plane ride over to the sub. Ye said something to the prisoners and they all began yelling. Turner tried to interview the Korean captain but he refused to leave his men. Turner decided to ask questions right there and Ye tried to back him down, saying, “that’s not the way it’s done.” Carefully considering their options, T calmly replied, “it is now.” Ye began embellishing the questions, provoking an angry outburst. When T calmly challenged it, Ye said that he had asked about surveillance equipment and advised they would salvage the ship when the Korean yelled that the Americans had run them aground. Turner told them they might not be allowed back to their country, and Six sailors were happy because they wanted to defect. They had to split the group (neither of who would talk), so the crew had to give up even more of their birthing space. Ye became more openly smart mouthed to T, so T asked “do I annoy you?” The arrogant creep, turned it back on T as having offended him! Turner said whatever it was, wasn’t intentional – but the toe-rag snotted back: “I think it was.” Turner attempted to know him better and found that he had grown up in Los Angeles, and his father had become reclusive after being shot in a liquor store robbery. Just then Joyner announced that the Koreans were to be picked and taken to Japan.
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Shifting Sand – 184

Harm (H), Mac (M) and Webb (W) came back from So America in time to tell Tiner (Ti) goodbye to Officer’s Candidate School then Naval Justice School. Coates (Co) is the JAG’s, Chegwidden’s (C), new administrative assistant. Mac told H that the “earth doesn’t stop spinning just because you leave the room” and B said “that’s not what he tells me.” Mac and H visited W in the hospital, who had nerve damage. Mac got all “lovey dovey” so H walked out. Chegwidden asked Turner (T) to start giving him progress reports because “there have been calls” regarding his “inefficient council.” Then, over Ts objections, C had to shout to get him to take Hs office and “put up pictures.” Bud dogged T to apologize but T told him to “leave him alone” to work it out. Chegwidden welcomed M back but when H asked to come back too, C said he had forwarded his resignation immediately and H had no longer worked at JAG and had been a civilian for 72 hours. He told H that he was “fed up with his lack of dependability; not being a team player; and being ruled by emotions.” Mac argued but H said “he’s just finally accepted that I’m unchangeable, as YOU have.” Turner told H that C took it as a personal insult that “your respect for his authority had a ceiling.” Dept CIA Director Kershaw called H and offered him a job explaining that Catherine Gale was his sponsor. He declined “because your world is too fluid” and he “needed moral consistent environment.” Because the legal department was full, Kershaw asked him “what else do you do?” Mac overheard H telling W that he was going to be a CIA pilot from outside Ws hospital room. Webb welcomed H “to the brotherhood” and M left.
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Pas de Deux – Part 2 – 181

[Continued from previous JAG episode]

When Garcia got the drop on them both and asked why he shouldn’t shoot him, Webb (W) said that he could “make him rich” explaining that he had a “line” on Predator B missiles, van and 4 hellfire war heads. Garcia gave him back his gun and said that he and Mac (M), his wife, had “earned his trust.” Garcia sent Gunny (G) with Sadik’s men to test the circuit boards then to bring back the drugs. Gunny asked who would be backup and was told there would be none. Sadik’s men kept using vague references to him like “he would be dealt with.” Webb stopped the car to let M “relieve herself” and shot Alvaro Camacho, his driver, who he realized was a “mole” when he noticed a passing look of recognition between him and Sadik’s men. Edward Hardy, the CIA section chief in Paraguay, told W that he was no longer the youngest under secretary or rising star. He would give W help only if he could take credit for it- “your ticket out of here is going to have my name on it too.” He was then shown going to a night meeting with some “drug lord looking” Spanish men. When it same time to take out Garcia’s hacienda Hardy whined and waffled until M backed him down with full blame for letting a known enemy of the US escape.
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Lawyers Guns and Money – Part 1 – 180

Webb returned from his eight month exile in Tierra De Fuego with a request to the JAG, Chegwidden (C), for the use of Mac (M). His cover has been that he’s a diamond dealer with an absent wife due to her pregnancy. Now he is supposed to make a diamond deal and must produce his “wife.” Mac received training in recognizing diamonds and a “pregnancy suit.” An al Qaeda terrorist named Sadik Fahd purchased 100 stinger missiles from a drug lord, Raul Garcia, for a large amount of coke. The stinger missiles were without circuit boards that made them fly straight which W was supplying for diamonds. Webb was out of his CIA territory and the area station chief told him that the operation was going to belong to both of them so he could get out of Paraguay too. Webb told M that he wanted her along specifically because there was a mole in the agency and he needed someone he could trust who could speak Farsi. He confessed to her that he “didn’t trust himself anymore because he was taking too many chances.”
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Heart and Soul – 174

The government was taking legal action against a contractor of defective aircraft Heads Up Display (HUD) units so the JAG, Chegwidden (C), wanted Harm (H) to take him up in an F14 in order to “understand” the problem which was making pilots disoriented. Chegwidden loosened his belt before a maneuver, hit his head on the canopy and accidentally pulled the ejection lever blasting him out of the plane and into a snowy forest. His survival gear consisted, in part, of a rubber raft, tent, matches and a condom (no winter clothing). He set up the tent and built a fire on a flat snowy place, chipped a trough in a frozen log, built a fire, heated rocks, melted snow in the trough and caught the water in the condom- both to drink and to mark an arrow in the snow. Unfortunately he had made camp on a lake and the fire melted the ice, dropping both he and his gear in the water. Freezing, he began hallucinating about being by a fire with Meredith (Md) on Valentines day and receiving the large silver heart inscribed with: “A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart,” words from Shakespeare’s Merry Wives of Windsor.
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All Ye Faithful – 169

[This was one of the most superbly written episodes of the entire 10-year series, a parody, of the entire JAG saga!]

The story all happened on the way to a Christmas eve party at the Roberts home. Turner (T) assisted “Mary and Joseph” Tenny, who were evicted from their apartment in a misunderstanding over “drumming.” Mary was imminently pregnant and Chegwidden (C) loaned his office to them for comfort while they attempted to resolve the situation. Mary went into labor and C delivered her baby, Jason, in the office secondary to an ambulance failure.
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The Promised Land – 160

Bud (B) came home in a wheelchair as was met at the airport by the JAG, Chegwidden (C), Turner (T), Mac (M), Harm (H), Mikey (Mk), Hariett (Ht) and little AJ (aj) but no Big Bud (BB). Chegwidden came to the hospital and tried to give him a purple heart but he wouldn’t receive it. Bud refused rehab while Ht was there, ostensibly because he didn’t want her to see his stump. Harriet wasn’t talking to B about his injury, ostensibly because she “was being supportive.” After C confronted Ht she and B began talking about him loosing his leg. Finally she demanded to pin the Purple Heart on him and he demanded to stand up to receive it. BB made excuses and refused to visit B. Bud finally called him and said “I love you” to which BB didn’t respond.
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