Jag Episode Summaries - Season Nine

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Nine
AiredTitle-WriterSynopsis
9/26/2003A Tangled Webb II - (Part 4)
by Stephen Zito
183
[Season opener - DJEs contract signed - Harm's back. But, somewhere in this season "Chegwidden" decided to leave the series; and, probably "Harm" as well, but he was talked into staying for 'just one more season.' ]Harm was alone and unconscious in the crashed bi-winged airplane that he "rented" from the Mennonite farmer; but, Mac was gone. He had his pistol and found the trail of pregnancy clothing that she had left for him to follow. He was dizzy and couldn't see well so when he got to the road, and was nearly hit by a truck, he fired his gun at a pickup truck who's tire had blown. Mac called out to stop him then they both began their subtle sniping at each other that lasted through the whole episode. She had gone back to Sadik's farm and found everyone dead (except Fadik) so she took the truck. A cow stood in the middle of the road and H told M to "make her move." She delayed, so H took out his gun and said "we can always shoot her," which made M go "talk" to the cow. The cow listened then just walked away and when H asked "what did you say to it" M retorted "I just told her about you, and like every woman you've ever known she went screaming into the night." They went back to Hardy's office and found it abandoned.

Gunny got Webb to the hospital where they were in the same room as a pregnant woman trying to deliver her child. W offered to pay for the woman's expenses and the woman named the baby "Clayton" after him. W and Gunny went back to the hotel and found M and H. By then Hardy had heard of "the explosion" and "various middle eastern men found dead around the Chaco boreal," and came to offer "to help." He had told M and H that his secretary, Maria Elena, had been working for Raoul Garcia and that Sadik would probably contact her for help getting out of the country. M, who Maria Elena had never met, went to a bar to talk to her. She told M that she was going to Rio on forged passports with someone. Sadik, in disguise, saw M with her and killed Maria Elena. Together, at the hotel, H, M, W & G deduced that Sadik was going to leave country the next day with a shipment that Maria Elena had arranged for Hardy - on a train. They saw Sadik on the train as a conductor and chased him but he boarded another train and waved to them as it went down the tracks. They followed him to the next crossing but found that he had just disappeared from the train. H told M that they would most certainly see Sadik again because "he will try to kill us both."

The conversational sub-text of M and Hs sniping's at each other revealed that H was jealous of W. M said that, although W had admitted feelings for her for some time, she had gotten close to him only because they shared such an intense experience. She told H that it was nice to have someone state his intentions clearly and follow through. H told her of his prior "wedding" to Catherine Gayle; but admitted that it hadn't been for real. He told M that he had resigned his commission because of her. Each of them missed several opportunities to communicate and they were interrupted several times by W and others. H sniped that he hoped W fared better than her former fiancés and boyfriends; but, then apologized. M sniped that at least hers hadn't been a "sham" wedding." After Gunny and W left M said that she didn't want to go right back home because she was grateful to be alive and wanted to take it in a little bit longer. She said that "it could never work between them because they both want to be on top." [The closing was a repeat of the "waltzing Mathilda" goodbye scene of a previous episode in memoriam of Trevor Goddard (Mic Brumby) who died of suicide in June of 2003]
10/3/2003Shifting Sand
by Dana Coen
184
Harm, Mac & Webb came back from So America in time to tell Tiner goodbye to Officer's Candidate School then Naval Justice School. Coates is Chegwidden's new administrative assistant. M told H that the "earth doesn't stop spinning just because you leave the room" and B said "that's not what he tells me." M & H visited W in the hospital with nerve damage and they got "lovey dovey" so H walked out. C asked Turner to start giving him progress reports because "there have been calls" regarding his "inefficient council." Then, over Ts objections, C had to shout to take Hs office and "put up pictures." B dogged T to apologize but T told him to "leave him alone" to work it out. C welcomed M back but when H asked to come back too, C said he had forwarded his resignation immediately and H had been a civilian for 72 hours. He told H that he was "fed up with his lack of dependability; not being a team player; and being ruled by emotions." M argued but H said "he's just finally accepted that I'm unchangeable, as YOU have." T told H that C took it as a personal insult that "your respect for his authority had a ceiling." Dept CIA Director Kershaw called H and offered him a job explaining that Catherine Gale was his sponsor. He declined "because your world is too fluid" and he "needed moral consistent environment." Because the legal department was full, Kershaw asked him "what else do you do?" M overheard H telling W that he was going to be a CIA pilot from outside Ws hospital room. W welcomed H "to the brotherhood" and M left.

PO Allison La Porte, daughter of Rear Admiral Richard La Porte, fell out of a medevac helicopter in Kuwait and spent 12 years w/ the Bedouins. She was captured stealing Doxycycline, an antibiotic, from a military truck. Chegwidden sent Bud as sole investigator because there were "hardly any other senior officers." B whined and C finally had to back him down. He found that she had lain in a ditch with a broken pelvis for three days until the Al Hadi tribe found and cared for her without anyone to translate. Gradually the son of the Sheik, Jamal Ben Fahad, took a liking to her and played backgammon with her. Over the year she fell in love with him, embraced the Muslim faith, took the name "Hiba" and married. When the Sheik turned over the reigns she became the wife of the sheik. During the "black years" 10 years ago when Saddam undertook a wave of oppression against the Bedou he blocked off the rivers to prevent them from getting water. Allison treated her father rudely and he told Mac to "lock her up," it turned out so that she would be forced to stay and not go back to the dessert. He described her as trying to "save the world with love," "apolitical," and "guileless" after her mother had abandoned them. B prosecuted and Mac, back from Paraguay with Webb, defended.

W told M that Allison's tribe was spying for Saddam and that her father knew it. M confronted Adm La Porte for more evidence much to his consternation. She promised him that the info wouldn’t go beyond the room but accidentally gave B the file. He then blew up at her and C called her incompetent and purposefully blowing her case. When she said that it was an accident he said instead of having followed her convictions she was sloppy and stupid. C had to back him down in order to get him to stop ranting. The witnesses were pretty strong against her but M countered them on cross examination until B called Allison's father. He revealed that they knew the tribe had followed the troops with sophisticated listening devices. B made him realize for the first time that the troops were speaking English and Allison was the only one in the tribe who could speak English. He said that he had never even considered because of her nature. Allison said that she had brokered a deal with Saddam to open a river which he did but it had been so contaminated that it was brackish and they all got sick with Leptospirosis which is why she needed the antibiotics she was stealing. She was bound over for court-martial on both desertion and aiding the enemy charges and the admiral told her he would "find her husband and tell him that he was looking out for you."
10/10/2003Secret Agent Man
by Darcy Meyers
185
Harm is flying for the CIA. Blaisdell assigned him to fly a "drop" into the Philippines then H found that he was "second" to Cdr Beth O'Neil who had been flying for them since H got her cleared of harassment charges. Felix Paraiso was a former colonel in the army who had previously tried two coups against sitting presidents and still had enough support to be elected to the House of Representatives. He "was planning something" and had tortured and killed the CIA's previous agent Greg Ortega. As he did most of his business in his car Blaisdell was going to switch cars with one having implanted GPS, Surveillance and chemical sniffing equipment. H and O'Neil were only to fly a C130 to a remote, lawless area and drop it but their contacts had also been killed so Blaisdell told them to land and make the switch themselves. They almost crashed landing on a short strip. They stole clothes from a farmer for their disguise but H left some money. O'Neil posed as a hooker and enticed Paraiso's driver, Petto Santos, into the woods while H made the switch. She tried to leave and needed to knee him in order to get away but was arrested and charged with attempted murder. They used the homing device to track Santos to a massage parlor and H confronted him there telling him he was working for Santos' wife. Santos thought O'Neil had been hired by his wife and made a deal with H so he wouldn't tell his wife about the massage parlors. Paraiso met with an accomplice military man who had C3 explosives on his clothing and were planning an explosion. Blaisdell talked H & O'Neil into a building by cell phone which faded out leaving them to disarm the bomb and failsafe alone. O'Neil told H that the failsafe wouldn't use the normal black wire for neutral- probably. They disarmed the bomb but were noticed escaping and chased. They barely made it back to the plane and took off amidst a hail of gunfire using JATO jet boosters. Paraiso and accomplice were "neutralized" by the Philippine army. They were offered field agent status- H said he was thinking.

Capt Tally charged Kevin Dupree, Mikey's roommate, with plagiarism on an English assignment. Dupree asked Mikey to go before the honors board with him as a character witness claiming he had only done what everyone else was doing and used books for ideas. Mikey was worried that if he was in Dupree's corner the reputation would rub off on him. He went to the christening of Bud and Harriet's baby and asked Big Bud what to do. BB told him not to testify for Dupree, B told him to make his own decision and BB belittled him for it. The baby was going to be named James Kirk Roberts after the star trek captain and B hadn't told Ht about the connection. BB commended Chegwidden for "dumping that pain in the ass Rabb" and C asked him how he had managed to stay in the military so long. M talked to Mikey then had Coates do some follow-up research. Coates pushed M into going to talk to Tally thinking he was being prejudiced. It turned out that Tally was black as well and told M that Dupree cut corners and was insubordinate. He said that people must have passed him without undue examination because he showed promise. In fact Coates called Dupree's retired English teacher who said that he'd done it before; but, because he was already accepted to the academy, the charge was made to "go away." Mikey promised to appear for Dupree but after M had told him of Dupree's past he told the board that he couldn't go against the honor code even for his best friend. Dupree apologized and Tally recommended 1-year honor remediation.
10/17/2003The One That Got Away
by Thomas Moran
186
[An interesting double story, where Harm and Mac do their own thing; but, one story's credibility breaks down at the end.] Force Recon Sergeant Christopher A Ambrose was with his squad in Iraq destroying some fiber optic cable when they were attacked by the Iraqi army. During the battle his life was saved from a close explosion by his ruck sack and radio. He tried to retrieve them but shells prevented him from doing so. His squad was captured by the Iraqi's but he made it across 200 miles of desert into Syria. Two were killed during capture and the remaining three were released after the fall of Bagdad. Maj Gen Kubin pressed an article 32 hearing against Ambrose for dereliction of duty and unrealistically shortened Mac and Turners deadline for investigation and trial. Mac had to remind him that when he was charged with undue command influence for his aggressive pressure and investigation of his daughters death he left no stone unturned for justice; and, he should afford Ambrose the same courtesy. None of the remaining squad were pressing issues in their after action reports; however, Maj Spain "let it slip" to T that Ambrose had disagreed with Spain wanting to call on their radio beacon for an extraction because the Iraqi's would hear it too. Then Ambrose disappeared in the sandstorm when he was calling. The squad remained at their position for 20 minutes waiting for Ambrose to return but the Iraqi's captured them. Ambrose told M that he had gotten separated in the storm and tried to back track but ended up in the desert.

Bud was shown worried about not being able to contact Harm. M said "that's what they do in the CIA - disappear." T coldly told him that "the words 'Harm' and 'everything will be alright' don't usually go together." T said that he couldn't get comfortable in H's old office. M told him that "if H's ghost is going to haunt anyone it will be me." M talked to T about his resentment of B. T told her that "my credibility as an attorney can't just be turned back on… neither can my friendship with B." Then he completely refused to even talk to M about a plea, obviously revealing his own personal revulsion for Ambrose. M caught Chegwidden between his meetings with the caterers for his wedding about Turner's refusal. C refused to intervene but said that "T feels he has more to prove than just winning a case and considering recent events I can't blame him." He advised that if the squad was protecting him it was out of loyalty "or something else."

M [the defense] cross examined Spain and pressured him until he said the squad wouldn't have died if Ambrose had…" then she kept on pressuring until he revealed that they were staged 100 yards from the enemy when Ambrose was told to take out someone who was unknowingly walking closer. Ambrose jumped up to kill the person and found that it was a small boy herding his goats. He didn't kill the child and the boy ran to tell the army. M continued to question and found that Spain routinely disregarded the rules of engagement and had made an agreement with his men for this time too. He claimed that "anyone with two eyes and a mouth was the enemy." Amazingly T added to the charges claiming "willful disobedience and misbehavior before the enemy"! On the stand T began attacking Ambrose personally calling him a coward. M only objected once but T continued relentlessly [unopposed] calling him a coward and claiming that he didn't live up to "semper fi" but only "saepe fi - sometimes faithful." During Ts barrage Ambrose asked him if he could kill a child. Arrogantly T told the judge he wanted to answer and said that "from a distance he could but he probably wouldn't face-to-face" but he wasn't in Force Recon and again called him a "coward." The judge acquitted Ambrose on the original charge but incredibly bound him over to court martial on the willful disobedience charge claiming that killing the child was a valid order. M told Ambrose that the government wouldn't be able to prove the court martial charge; but, he replied "they won't have to because he was going to plead guilty." He said that he felt he did right but basically believed Ts ranting about how he shouldn't have been in Force Recon. Disgusted, M went to T and said "it must be great to be above it all… I wouldn't do it but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done… NOW THAT'S A COWARD"!

In the CIA Harm was assigned to agent Blaisdell to test a new supersonic spy plane with "Pulse Detonation Wave Engines - the Aurora" and given Purdue graduate and civilian test pilot Andy Watson as his co-pilot. During their orientation mission to test their "foliage penetrating" and "ground penetrating" radar they spiked near-insults at each other. Watson knew that H had "abandoned his navy career to undertake a personally financed, unauthorized, undercover mission in a country he didn't speak the language." At mach 6 (4,000 miles per hour) they were at 98,420 feet altitude when Blaisdell reclassified their mission to tactical and sent them to recon over North Korea. There were reports that two divisions (50 thousand men) had entered tunnels that had been dug toward the DMZ. They had been warned about "unstarts" of the engines and when they slowed down to use their radar both of their engines flamed out. During their fall Watson continually complained that they needed to abort and eject. He was told to just get the radar and let H fly. When they got so low that missiles were fired at them H had slowed enough to restart the engines. A missile was shown exploding on their plane (but after the commercial H reported that they had escaped. They turned around and made another pass, this time slowing more slowly and found that the tunnels were actually full of water not men.
10/24/2003Touchdown
by Matt Witten
187
[Very interesting follow-up to previous episode showing the degradation of the Sturgis Turner character. Harm and Mac still were in parallel stories requiring "flip-flops" which made the plot complicated. Harms story was based upon an actual landing of a C-130 on the USS Forestall by Lt James H Flatley and Lcdr W. W. "Smokey" Stovall on October 30th 1963] Still flying for the CIA, Harm and Cdr Beth O'Neil were assigned by Blaisdell to "extract" Saed Labdouni, the highest level "asset" in Libya. He had information of government involvement in the Lockerbie plane crash. The only plane available was a C-130 transport and there was no backup or contingency plan. H was told he was the "lead" this time, and had to fly down at 200 feet to avoid Russian tracking. He had to turn off his radar to avoid detection and fly "visually" in the dark. At rendezvous one of the nav satellites went out making his GPS inaccurate so he had to turn and make another run before he found the signal. On landing he found that Labdouni had brought his wife, Aziza, mother-in-law, Ismitta and cousin Fadil with his family. Telling him that extra passengers weren't authorized, they were fired on by machine-gun wielding jeeps so had to board fast. Unfortunately they were shot at during take off and engine #1 began to flame. Instead of "blowing it," O'Neil insisted on shutting it down, in case they needed it later; H complied and told her that she was "lucky this time." Just then, they were attacked by a Russian MIG. Not being able to out run it, H had to drop flares to avoid a missile. They didn't avoid his gun fire however; so, at the last minute, he positioned next to a mountain, and mass fired all his flares at once just at the time of "pull up." The MIG pilot, using night vision enhancement, was unexpectedly blinded, and crashed into the mountain. Now engine #2 was loosing oil so needed to be shut down or "freeze up." They then restarted #1 and luckily it didn't start fire. H had to "fight" the plane knowing that they couldn't abandon because of all the extra passengers, including children, who didn't have parachutes. H asked Blaisdell the coordinates of the Seahawk, and to get help with the captain, from Washington.

Sturgis Turner was assigned the capital prosecution of seaman Weston for treason after trying to kill his fellow soldiers as a secret member of an al Qaeda cell. He flailed at Bud for not noticing that the Xerox machine had missed page three of a document. B offered to withdraw, saying he knew the only reason he was second, was because of Chegwidden's insistence. He further pissed off T by observing that the case was a "slam dunk." Mac was assigned the defense but didn't have her heart in it. Weston claimed that he was innocent. He kept a low profile on his religion (wasn't hiding it) for fear of prejudice; the email to his cousin from his base in Bahrain, about it being "easy to kill soldiers in the chow hall" was merely a comment on the laxity of security; and, the "confession" of a prisoner implicating him, was a "complete lie." M reviewed the interrogation tapes where Sabet admitted that he had met with Weston three times and had been asked for Sarin nerve gas to release in the chow hall on Friday where over 100 men would be killed. M noticed a trigger device in the interrogator, Abu Kamel's, hand and demanded to talk to him. Kamel was a haughty, arrogant man, glib about all the equipment the American's had bought him. He gloated in the 50,000 volt stun belt that he used and said that it was "better than the older method." He bragged that "we in the middle east have been dealing with terrorists longer than the US" and that "you will come around to our ways." M seemed to only argue the morality issue, not the "finding the real truth" issue, and T told Bud that his opinions were irrelevant. Chegwidden had to defuse the argument and told them that he was bringing Imes back from Europe to replace H. Before the hearing M argued to suppress Sabet's testimony on moral grounds, T cited previous allowed torture testimony but got flummoxed at the judges questions. B bailed him out with logical responses. The judge said that he did believed Sabet's testimony would be under threat of torture, but it wasn't from the US so he would allow the members (jury) to decide for themselves of its truthfulness. M didn't seem upset with the ruling, said "I thought I had you there," and "now I'm stuck defending him." She complimented B, so did T except with "you had my back, unlike last time."

M, trying to calm Weston down, said she could bring witnesses to show his testimony can't be trusted. Weston replied, "I shouldn't have trusted him either." Then he whined that "they'll kill me," and M said "I guess since you just confessed to me, you can't complain." He pontificated that his only complaint would be that he "couldn't do anything useful before I got caught." He went into a diatribe about "his peoples" oppression of slavery and "his prophets work." He wanted to cop a plea to guilty to avoid the death penalty because he "didn’t want to die, could do the prophet's work in prison, and be alive when the great American Empire is destroyed." M merely, disgustedly, said "who ever taught you to hate like that should be in prison too." She tried to get T to deal but he refused. She got into it with him in the hall asking him "what's the matter with you? last week you wanted to throw a guy in the brig for refusing to kill a 10 year old boy, now you're being hard nosed to point of absurdity." They were intercepted by C, into his office. M continued - you support torture even though you wouldn't do it, then you want to electrocute him, even though you wouldn't pull the switch." T told her, "I see no contradiction in that." C agreed with T in the presence of M, then excused her to talk to T. He told T that "you've been under stress since your conduct unbecoming case. You may be trying too hard to prove yourself all over again." T said, "I don't see it." C said, "Well I do, you don't have to prove yourself to me." Regarding the plea bargain, he pointed out that, even though he would like to see him executed as well, T should consider the possibility that M would win - and he should "make the best choice." T went immediately to M and accepted the offer, to her puzzlement.

The joint chiefs flash messaged Capt Johnson of the Seahawk to provide all feasible assistance. C-130 doesn't have tail hook, 3 times bigger than any previous landing plane, wings so big all aircraft needed moving in less than 25 minutes. O'Neil guessed at a "lens angle of 4.0, more or less," H presented it with certainty to the Captain. The Seahawk shot off all excess planes, moved all others so their tails were off the deck, reset the lens to 4, removed the landing wires so the nose gear wouldn't get caught, and couldn't put up barriers because the cable might hit the cockpit. O'Neil gave their only three life preservers to the kids. Then they realized there was a hydraulic failure so they had no brakes. They dumped all but 1000# fuel to slow approach and would reverse engines at the threshold. The captain told them that there was only 3 knot's of headwind and the ship could only give them 45 knot's with speed. H told him to give them all they've got and the Captain demanded to know what was going on. H told him their predicament and that they would use "reverse thrust at threshold and a stiff headwind." They dumped more fuel as they got closer then found that their landing gear wouldn't go down. O'Neil had Labdoni manually crank down the wheel. There was no lock on the gear until after they had already gotten so close that they engaged flaps. When throttling back on their only two good engines, one engine flamed out. They hit the deck with screeches taking them to where their nose was off the end of the ship before they stopped. H got out first and helped everyone down, he was carrying a child when the CNN reporter shoved a camera in his face, (not good for a CIA spook)!
10/31/2003Back in the Saddle
by Stephen Zito
188
[Another 'life changing episode,' removing a character, adding another and nobody seems too happy.] Commander Carolyn Imes was prosecuting Petty Officer Lawson for neglecting his assigned gun mount maintenance and causing injury to three sailors when MPs stormed the court room, ostensibly under Chegwidden's orders, and arrested her. In line for a new security clearance a background check revealed that she had changed her name to a recently deceased member of the Michigan bar, requested a duplicate certificate, and claimed she had passed the bar on her JAG application - instead of having missed it by one point. C ordered all her defended cases to be reversed - needing re-evaluation for re-trial. Mac pointed out that Harm had been the prosecutor in 27 of the cases so he could be helpful. C said "expedite all you want, get it done by end of the week." Turner said he "almost missed Rabb" when he was assigned to prosecute Imes; because he "used to take most of the heat." Imes told M, her defense, that she "didn't think it would matter." The UCMJ just said "graduate OR member of state bar" and she was accepted in '88, three years before JAG reg's clarified that the bar was mandatory. She tried to beat M at her sad "I've fought up from nothing" life; but, M won. Imes said she had 14 years of outstanding fitness reports and wanted a trial so she wouldn't have a record for civilian life. M went to Harm's apartment to ask for help because she had "left 17 messages in 5 months." He told her "I thought we'd done our talking, you made that clear." She didn't engage his combativeness and he was surprised that her boyfriend Webb hadn't told her that he'd been fired from the CIA because of the press coverage in the previous episode. Even though he had flown 37 missions in 6 months, the TV cost him his job and he said he "was done with government work"! H said he'd "beat Imes 6 times running" and M left the records for him to review.

Catherine Gayle came for "advice," she was pregnant. She claimed that M had given her a "get away from my man" look, probably because H had hinted that they had gone through a "marriage ceremony" at the bedside of her dying mother. Her mother rallied and was now in a care center, but she hadn't been told about either the "marriage" or the pregnancy. H went to visit Gayle's mother and was surprised to be told "It's too bad you're not in love with my daughter." She had known about the charade all along but didn't want to prevent Catherine's chance for a kindness. She also recognized the pregnancy and H told her that "he was told" he didn't have anything to do with it. H proposed that they "give it a shot, and see what happens," to Gayle. She told him that he was "too high risk" and to call her when he really knew what he wanted. H went to Blacksburg to take a flight in "Sara," his Stearman, and found that "Pop's Grahowsky" had sold out to "Grace Aviation" run by Mathilda (Mattie) Grace a 14-year-old. Mattie latched on to H, helped him change spark plugs, told him they had something in common by being given "goofy names," and offered him a job crop dusting for $300 per day. She followed him to the field in her truck, with an arrangement with the local sheriff, and told him that he was a good flyer for avoiding a tree.

T told M she was "crazy" for wanting to go to trial and that he would "expect that from Rabb but not you," because she usually took the conservative, safe route. Stunned, she asked him to "list my other faults" and he called her "sanctimonious and a bit of a prig." She asked, "where did that come from," and he responded "It's been building for awhile now," and walked out. She asked Bud if he thought she took the narrow view? He said, "no." Find me sanctimonious? - no maam; priggish? - no maam; would you tell me if you did? - no maam. She told B that she was "failing to communicate" with C; he told her they were doing great, "the admiral yells at me and I say I'm sorry." H came to JAG to go over cases and coolly deflected Ts offer of a beer. Coates offered to inform C, but H said "don’t bother I've nothing to say to the admiral" then saw C, who was behind him, just walk away. He told M and B that he was busy, this was a favor, and let's "get on with it." Coates tried to take H's part with C, and the admiral told her to mind her own business. Then, when she told him she was still trying to "define her job" he asked "did you just try to 'handle' me?" And told her she was "parsing the truth like a lawyer." M also tried to take Hs part with C and was told she was "so pathetic and transparent. He's done here. Don't sing his praises cause they fall on deaf ears." On Ms exit, Coates told her "when someone's that angry, you know they're hurting inside"; and, of course, C was standing behind her. When Coates, yet again, told him to "go talk to him," C read her the riot act and said he wasn't interested in her opinion or what she had to say. "Don't say it," he yelled, "even if you wanted to call me 'unreasonable,' or 'pig headed,' or 'unfair'." She said "I don't need to, because you already know it." In her face he told her "people don’t like to be 'handled,' so if you do it you better be damn sure you are right… as you are this time," and he left to go see H.

"Mr. Rabb" was called to testify to Imes' character. T was hateful in the trial and even tried to make H look foolish. He even claimed her "so help me God" oath meant that she had lied to her god; but, H resisted, until asked if he considered breaking the oath "conduct unbecoming." H had to reply "yes." C appeared at Grace Aviation to talk to H, which made Mattie unhappy. "Is this bald guy the jerk who fired you?" she asked. Going "Dutch treat" to a bar, C said "apparently there's more to say"; then, when H was being flippant, called him "annoying." H said "yes and 'not a team player' and 'controlled by my emotions' as well," (using C own words when he fired him). C said he would ask the SECNAV to reinstate his commission "under the right circumstances." H said he was listening and C continued: "Stop acting like Peter Pan who wants to fly and never grow up. You'll not have the life you want until you take responsibility for your actions - at work, with women, or any facet." Seeing H shake his head, C just got up and said "let me know. Come back, we'll start fresh" and walked out. Imes was found guilty of conduct unbecoming but only given a discharge, not brig time. Mattie was upset at hearing H was going to go back to JAG. When he wanted to comfort her, she said "I don't know you well enough to let you see me cry." She then said she had lied about her dad, that he had really been drunk the night her mother died in their car crash, and that he had abandoned her. She was living in the house bequeathed to her by her mother, and was making payments by running the business. H advised that she would eventually be found out, and said that he would: call her every day, see her every week, find a neighbor to check in on her, talk to the court about becoming her guardian and get her into school. He took her flying to seal the deal. [closing credits were to 'soaring' music instead of the JAG theme]
11/7/2003Close Quarters
by Dana Coen
189
[A odd little episode where Chegwidden acts like a pompous ass, Turner an uncertain patsy and the plot is barely believable. A lot of 'parallel play' fragments the storyline making the synopsis difficult] In the sea of Japan Cdr Joyner's sub, USS Cathedral City, rescued North Korean sailors when they were spying on South Korea and their minisub sunk on a reef. Chegwidden sent Turner to "see what's up" and decide if the spies are "combatants or survivors." C also told him to "come back with a new attitude." Unfortunately an arrogant intel officer, Lt. Ye, was also dispatched to conduct intelligence interviews and interpret. Without provocation, he immediately bristled and tried to put T "in his place" during the plane ride over to the sub. Ye said something to the prisoners and they all began yelling. T tried to interview the Korean captain but he refused to leave his men. T decided to ask questions right there and Ye tried to back him down, saying, "that's not the way it's done." Carefully considering their options, T calmly replied, "it is now." Ye began embellishing the questions, provoking an angry outburst. When T calmly challenged it, Ye said that he had asked about surveillance equipment and advised they would salvage the ship when the Korean yelled that the Americans had run them aground. T told them they might not be allowed back to their country, and Six sailors were happy because they wanted to defect. They had to split the group (neither of who would talk), so the crew had to give up even more of their birthing space. Ye became more openly smart mouthed to T, so T asked "do I annoy you?" The arrogant creep, turned it back on T as having offended him! T said whatever it was, wasn't intentional - but the toe-rag snotted back: "I think it was." T attempted to know him better and found that he had grown up in Los Angeles, and his father had become reclusive after being shot in a liquor store robbery. Just then Joyner announced that the Koreans were to be picked and taken to Japan. However, before they were one Korean was found unconscious in a head. T reprimanded the crew who were bad-mouthing the man. The ships corpsman used his "cookbooks" and came up with the diagnosis of SARS (?!) The entire ship had to wear "gas masks" and scrub down the entire surfaces of the boat, along with surfacing and exchanging air. Joyner Pontificated that "every molecule on the boat was suspect" but that they couldn't wear the masks for long, or it would "give them a headache and their brain would cease to function properly" [good grief, Dana. Where did you come up with this?] Then the Korean captain refused to remove his mask, saying it still wasn't safe (even though none of the Americans were still wearing them), and T asked the chief to remove the mans mask because "there brain would be affected, and they wouldn’t be able to question him." The chief tricked the man and took it off, and Ye belittled him for wanting to "feel superior." T said he didn't see that in the chief and Ye stormed off. With the SARS diagnosis, Japan wouldn't let them land so they were being diverted to Dutch Harbor, 7 days away.

Harm returned to JAG and was given the "cold shoulder" by everyone. He got T's old office with a dead rat in the wall and a stench. He met Terrance Minnerly, a one-armed, black seaman from 1942 - 45, in a pharmacy buying blood pressure pills. H befriended him and opened the pill bottle which he said he had been out of for 4 days. Police came and arrested Minnerly because the receptionist for the HMO across the street said she had been robbed. H told Mac that he was helping Minnerly, who had tried for four days to get his HMO to correct a mistake they were making but had been given the run-around. He'd been evicted for not being able to pay his rent and was sleeping at the shelter. When he went personally to the HMO offices the receptionist became obstructionistic and refused to let him see anyone. When she threatened him with security, he stuck his finger in his coat and demanded her purse. He only took enough for his pills but she called security. M advised H that he better not take the case because he had too much work to do reviewing 27 Imes cases, two times as many as the others. Coates came and gave him 6 more "singer" cases from C. H had already let Minnerly stay in his apartment. The public defender came to JAG and dumped the case back to H because Minnerly's disability was $137 above the poverty line. Bud refused to help H, first claiming that he had too many cases to review; then, when he had to tell H he had two, he let slip that he would "If I was allowed to." He said that "no one else could either." H asked if he was being "punished," and B said "consider it a hazing." He went with hat in hand to M, but she just mocked him for poor time management, until H just started to walk out saying "I'm sorry to have wasted your time." She relented and said she would meet with Minnerly "just to see" and H brought him into the room, introducing her as his new lawyer. She told H she had changed her mind because "if you were me you would have said 'yes' and I'm overwhelmed." M talked to Minnerly and C had to interrupt her because she was late for a sentencing hearing. She just left Minnerly in her office. When H returned, Minnerly was with C.

Back on the sub, T thought Japan's refusal was "overkill" for just a corpsman's diagnosis out of a book. The corpsman he had a microscope but no "virus matching software" (huh?). T offered to be "point man" on making the slides and transmitting them to the mainland via the internet connection the ship had. The Korean captain continued to be upset and Ye accused the chief of "assaulting" the man. Another crewman was "unconscious" and the chief had thought he was just sleeping. The Korean began screaming and smashed some electronic equipment with a fire extinguisher (they were being kept in the torpedo room!!) and had to be subdues. So now, even more birthing was taken up by the Koreans and the captain asked T if he could put the four (non-defectors) into a raft and set them adrift after notifying the Koreans where they were. T said no and the Capt. retorted "who is going to protect my crew, and don't tell me God." T asked "you were under the impression that I would?" and the Capt. said "you look like a pious man." T replied "less and less." The captain said there was no more room and he would have to secure the saboteur to his rack. Ye then got in the Captains face over "inhumane" treatment. T agreed with the Capt. and said it was "strange talk from an intel officer." Ye smart-mouthed back, "keep working those cliché's." T asked "who are you representing here" and Ye claimed "his country" and that he could "do it without penalizing these men for being who they are." Finally T responded that he "resented the implication," but Ye snapped "doesn't surprise me." Trying to help the Capt. T asked "what about sedation" and Ye snapped back "great, treat him like an animal." The Capt. stood them down saying "no need to make this personal." The Capt. decided on sedation; but the lab came back that there was no SARS - it was "just a nasty flu" (right, that rendered two victims unconscious!) Ye told T "good for you, sir" and T calmly replied that it "was too bad they couldn't have gotten along better." True to his arrogant, chip on his shoulder, character, Ye responded "do you know how that could have been avoided?" T said he didn't and, instead of an intelligent conversation, Ye just smirked his adolescent snarl and said "that's too bad." T merely said "I won't argue the point" and dismissed him, after asking "was the man who robbed and shot your father black?" Ye said yes.

H called Mattie to see if Mrs. Del-Mucci was stopping by to check on her. Mattie whined that she had been given two dresses, a grammar text and a bean casserole. H responded that she was a good neighbor to have but Mattie just bellyached that she "couldn't get past the hairs on her cheek." H said that her father still being alive complicated guardianship and he would see her when "I can see over my desk." He told her that he wasn't going to abandon her. Playing the jerk, C asked H and M into his office and whined "why wasn't I informed" about Minnerly. He grandiosely pontificated about the navy's "Great Lakes Experiment" where president Roosevelt had recruited thousands of black men and placed them in supportive roles. Minnerly said that "at the time it was an honor" and many barriers were broken. He was stationed in the band at Treasure Island in San Francisco. He had played the piano - until he lost his arm in an accident two weeks after his discharge. C said that he had contacted the commonwealth attorney, who he knew in law school, and got him to agree to drop the charges for an anger management class. After Minnerly left, he chastised H for not being on "top of this… I thought better of you… aren't you the man who does what it takes to get the job done?" More calmly and respectfully than most would have been, H merely said he had the "impression that man was unwelcome in this office." C responded: "not entirely." H asked "what is expected of me? Am I to prove myself, or be myself." C looked down his nose and said "do what you do." H said it was difficult under the work load, and C smirked as he told him to give Singer's cases to M. Turner came back with the "flu" (why wasn't he unconscious too?) C told him to go home so he didn't spread it around, then informed him that Ye had filed a complaint against him through the chief of naval intelligence. He asked T if it was true and T said no. "Then that's good enough for me," C said but asked T if he "ever got angry?" T wanted to know why and C said "if you think you've been falsely accused why don't you get pissed off?" T wrung his hands and simpered he had been doing "introspection" and he "might have handled it better." C shook his head that T seemed to be buying into the accusations, then tried to introduce T to Minnerly. T declined because he was sick and said "when I'm more worthy, sir." (?!)
11/14/2003Posse Comitatus
by Paul Levine
190
[A bit of an unrealistic premise and plot line. Not as strong an episode as customary JAG standards.] Sheriff Brad Driskell and deputy's, of Yuma Arizona, were pinned down behind their squad cars, adjacent to a barn where bachelor farmer Barclay Cale was shooting at them with an automatic rifle and armor piercing ammunition. A deputy was mortally wounded on the ground and another was tied up as hostage in the loft with Cale. Driskell had called for "backup" but was still hunkering behind the cars when a "super cobra" appeared and hovered just outside the barn. Cale fired again and Maj Tuney "took him out" causing beams to collapse crushing Linda Foyo, the deputy. Driskell flew into a tantrum and Tuney was eventually charged with violating the "Posse Comitatus" act which precludes military from participating in civilian law enforcement (except in very specific cases). Harm and Mac went to investigate. Lt. Col Pittman said Tuney had served in Iraq and Afghanistan and was their best trainer. He said that Tuney had noticed the sheriff's action, a wounded officer on the ground and thought he could "medivac" the wounded. He called for permission to engage but was told to "hold his position" for further orders. When Cale "fired on him" he thought a shell might bring him down on the people below so he "shot back." To Ms incredulity, he responded that he "would never order a pilot to 'hold his fire' when he was being fired upon." Cale was being arrested for property tax evasion, having lost his farm to the bank. Tuney said he had seen Cale training his gun on the deputy and another on the ground bleeding; so, when he was shot at with armor piercing rounds, and with his co-pilots agreement, he shot "a microburst at a steep angle, so as not to hit the deputy." He had tried to contact the sheriff, but was told by the dispatcher that she had been ordered "not to put me through." The sheriff was a pissy know-it-all with a chip on his shoulder who claimed that he "didn't need or want help," he was "still negotiating," and "didn't need another trigger happy yahoo to deal with." M found that Tuney had a similar incident two years previously at another command. He "helped" the San Diego police who were chasing a felon up the wrong lane of a freeway. Tuney had brought his helicopter down in front of the criminal, but instead of stopping he drove off the freeway and into someone's back yard. "I took actions to save lives," Tuney told them, "if that's illegal, lock me up."

Harriet was asked to help produce the Christmas USO show in Bagdad with Garth Brooks. Bud was appointed Hearing Officer for Lt. Cdr Justin Bentley, a doctor whose training had been paid for by the Navy and who now, that his unit was being called up to Iraq, wanted out on "contentious objector" status. Bud saw a whole wall full of military photos on the wall of Bentley's private practice office full of the latest technology. Bentley claimed that he had "been overwhelmed with guilt" all during the last 6 years (the navy had been paying for) but joined the Quakers when he married this last year. He told B the photos were "for his patients" (who were mostly military and dependents) so B asked if he would take down the photos after he was discharged and he replied "yes." Turner, assigned to defend, went to Bentley's church meeting then asked C for reassignment. C's disbelief was met with "when I look at my father (50 year navy chaplain) I see his faith, but I don't see that in Bentley." C asked if Ts father knew he was turning his back on religion and T said he would defend Bentley but didn't respect him, then left. T called and asked his father for help. C stopped in to "say hello" and asked the chaplain if he had any "words of wisdom for me." The Chaplain said "Absolutely. Treat my son well and you'll be rewarded in heaven." He asked C if he needed help to straighten T out. C said "I think he is straight enough." T jokingly asked if he should leave "so you can talk about me," and C pondered and said down his nose "if you don't mind." T called his father as a witness at the hearing and the chaplain said that he was convinced of Bentley's sincerity. T asked about "finding God," and his fathers answer was subtly directed at T. Bud, as hearing officer, asked about the chaplains 50 year service despite disagreement with war. The chaplain said that he "found honor in providing solace to those who fought and comfort to the wounded and dying." B told Bentley that he was not impressed that he'd done anything to convince anyone that he was a pacifist and asked why he couldn't serve in a non-combat situation. Bentley said he didn't want to be connected in any way with the military and "wanted to serve God, nothing else matters." At a restaurant, T told his dad that "people have a way of letting you down." His dad asked if it was about congresswoman Latham and T said that was ancient history. He claimed that it "was in my nature to do my best… but my friends, coworkers…" then told him of his pending charges. He said that even though he had joined the navy when "we were called colored" and tolerated bigotry, he was accused of racial bias against Koreans. His dad asked "is it true?" and T answered "I don't know." "Then it's about you not your friends. T said that "I am so far away from what I wanted to be in my life that I don't even recognize myself." His dad told him that he needed to recognize he was imperfect and "move on. You’ve got to learn how to bend before you break."

H and M were hotly discussing the posse comitatus act, when M said "you love this. I know why you came back. You need JAG as much as JAG needs you." H asked, "what about you? Are you glad to have me back?" The phone rang before M had to answer. The Tuney case went to hearing and the sheriff acted his arrogant self claiming that he didn't ask or want help. He had been a marine for four years. No mention about what part his arrogance or stonewalling had played in the incident was made. The deputy claimed that she knew Cale from childhood and once the helicopter had shown up had been able to talk him into dropping his weapon. H got her to admit that no one else knew about it and Tuney had reason to believe otherwise.

The conclusions: Bud decided that he "wasn't sure he was right but couldn't prove that Bentley was wrong." So he said he was recommending to let him out; but added that "since you want complete separation" he would take away his "participating provider" status from navy medicine. Bentley then started arguing that it would bankrupt him, he would loose his practice etc. T saw the benefit of Bs decision and told Bentley "it seems consistent with your beliefs." B offered that "sometimes faith carries a high price." After Bentley left, B told T that "for awhile there I thought he might be for real." T replied, "never put your faith in people, you will always be disappointed." The judge told Tuney that it was "becoming difficult to distinguish between an act of terrorism worthy of military response and a criminal act better suited for police jurisdiction." He was recommending no action. But, when Tuney was telling H thanks, his CO informed him that the wing commander had transferred him out of the squad pending a FENAB to evaluate his flying status. M asked him if it was worth it. Tuney replied "yes, I'd do it again."
11/21/2003The Boast
by Matt Witten
191
The SECNAV asked Chegwidden to get to the bottom of an accidental "confession" to a reporter of an Iraqi prisoner. Lance Corporal Pete Kelly told Ginny Serrano about shooting a prisoner in the head when she asked him the "million dollar question" (have you killed anybody) in a bar. Unfortunately, she didn't accept his retraction after he found she was a reporter; and she dug up an identical incident which happened in the compound to Omar Billah. Also, unfortunately, in Serrano's "yellow journalism" the only thing she needed to run the story is no-one telling her it couldn't have happened. Kelly didn't have an alibi for when the incident occurred, and of course she didn't either ask or believe anyone in the military because they would just "lie." Kelly told both Bud and Mac that he just made up the story because he was sick of people asking "the question." Captain Rappaport confirmed there was an incident in the compound which held 200 - 400 EPWs. He also said that although Kelly's whereabouts couldn't be confirmed, the security was in chaos with all the influx of surrendering prisoners. One prisoner had been found to still have a gun, and Billah had to be handcuffed because he was trying to incite a riot two hours before he was killed. The SECNAV then came to say he'd talked it over with the joint chiefs and they now no longer considered it a priority. He wanted no prosecution unless absolutely certain of the case, because they didn't want to provide propaganda the enemy could use. B said "yes" to prosecution, M said "not sure" but prosecution went forward and C assigned B to prosecute and M to defend. Coates helped get information on Serrano but Billah was a complete blank. Rappaport said that Billah had "spit in Kelly's face" before the incident; but, told M she would have to go "a lot higher up than me" if she wanted any info on Billah. She went to the SECNAV and asked what he was not telling her. He eventually agreed to "talk to the joint chiefs" about it. She told him to tell them that they would keep all the testimony secret, but that she "was not going to go away." Rappaport testified that Billah was NOT a prisoner, but rather an Iraqi exile planted as in informant by the CIA and Marine Corps intelligence. M said "then there were 400 men in the compound with good reason to kill Billah if they found out who he was."

Chegwidden took Harm to Los Angeles for the international military law conference; but, the SECNAV opinioned that C was just going to go to the Navy-Marine Corps all-star baseball game. During the game, the MC coaches son, Lt. Dave Phelps, was hit in the head unconscious by a "brush back pitch." The father, pressed charges against PO Crawford, the pitcher who, he claimed, deliberately threw at the back of Phelps' head, so he would back into it. C took it personally and went to talk to the father; but, couldn't convince him that it could have been an accident. C arranged to hold the hearing in his conference room and said that he would defend the pitcher. He left M in charge to decide who the opposing counsel would be. She was going to "dump it on Turner," but H said he would do it because "the boss set it up so everyone else was busy and she would have to choose me." She told him that "you just want to nail the admiral for keeping you out of the Navy for 3 months," but told him he could. The Navy coach said that Crawford had been recruited by the Yankees and red sox and had a 95 mph fast ball with good control. He denied telling him to hit the batter because doing so might have put the winning run on base. Crawford said the ball just got away from him and he would "never throw a fast ball at another man's head, even if he was a marine." Seaman Johnson, the catcher, told C that he "didn't know" and "didn't recall" when asked about the sign he gave. C threatened him with videotapes and Johnson said that their manager had given a direct order for a brush back pitch. When finding that out, the MC coach/father wanted to charge the navy coach and manager too. Phelps said "dad, you're kidding!"

In the trials: Rappaport said that Kelly's whereabouts were unaccounted for but he was first on the scene and had said "guess he won't be killing any more American's." Serrano said his "confession" had to be true because it was "too disgusting to make up" and that she hadn't talked to anyone in the military about it. She had also just been hired by the Times but denied that she would ever "print a story just to advance my career." Coates discovered that the incident where a prisoner was found to have a gun was only 2 weeks after the Billah killing and was Khaled Fadani, who had been in Billah's compound at the time. In spite of the fact witnesses saw the gun to be a 9mm Beretta and Billah was killed with a 9mm, the judge wouldn't allow further discovery (?!!). M asked Kelly, on the stand, if he'd killed anyone. He initially refused to answer then told about his run through "ambush alley" where his buddies were killed. The question, he said, makes you "feel creepy" and sometimes when asked, he just made things up to make "them feel creepy too." He denied killing Billah because it would show disrespect to the memory of his fellow marines. The jury found him NOT guilty.

Phelps said that his first time at bat he had gotten a single to left field. Then, when the next batter hit a slow line drive to second, he had charged and cleated the shortstop in order to disable him for the double play. He saw Crawford stare at him and point for a long time so he "knew he would try something." C asked him if he thought that he should be court-martialed for spiking the shortstop. The coach said Crawford hadn't given up a single walk, which H opined was "perfect control." The coach blurted that "you can't prove it," and "anyway it's part of baseball." Crawford said he aimed in front of Phelps' chest, as a brush-back, to set up the next pitch, a curve ball low and away. He didn't hit Phelps on purpose. The previous game the manager had asked him to throw at the hitter, but he didn't do it. Afterwards, he had been told to follow orders and that in order to be in the big leagues he had to be "tougher." H closed with: "we can't allow this kind of thuggery to go unpunished just because it's done in the name of sports. C said: "It's different in baseball (from hockey and racing). You wear a helmet and even little leaguers know they might be hit, which is implied consent. Famous pitchers all used inside pitches. Don't let lawyers kill baseball." The judge concluded: "the line between criminal assault and unfortunate, though predictable, sports accidents, is too thin to be resolved in court martial. No further action."

H took three pizzas to Mattie, because he didn't know what kind she liked. She told him to bring Pepperoni next time. He had set up a hearing in juvenile court, in three weeks, to try and make her his ward. He used the Batman and Robin analogy to explain the definition of ward. She asked him: "what do you get out of this?" He replied, "you." — Phelps had to tell his dad that "enough was enough" and there would be no further appeals. — Bud told M that, based on her actions in court, she was probably asked the "million dollar question" a lot too. She replied: "yes, and I never tell the truth!"
12/2/2003Pulse Rate
by Darcy Meyers
192
[It looks as though they feel having several intertwined plots something that they need to do this year. There are at least four in this episode. It does have a "stinger" ending.] Seaman Duncan was electrocuted when the radar rig he was attempting to repair on the USS Gillcrist as turned on by PO Ferrier when she didn't see the "work order tag" on her console. Lt Jourgensen, information division officer, told Mac that any repair required three signatures: his, the lead interior comm tech and a "second man." He saw the tag on the console 10 minutes earlier. PO Demato, Duncan's partner, told Harm that there was no way they could tell if the power was off, they just had to trust that no one wanted them dead. When M asked PO Atwood, the "second man," why he just stood there and let Ferrier turn on the console if he knew they were making repairs, Atwood said he didn't know what she intended. Everyone, she said, had several things going on at once but no one had the job of watching the tagged console! PO Miles Yates, whose job it was to be at the console, gave many excuses of repair to other damaged equipment, and that the test wasn't supposed to have been started until 10:10 (not 8:30). H bent down and found the red tag inside the vent grate to the console (about 4 inches from the floor). They decided to call it accidental and were leaving when Atwood asked them to reconsider and tattled on Yates having done the same thing before 2 weeks prior. They decided to stay and interview people again. Demato said Yates wasn't popular and that Atwood was mouthy, and a blow hard. She had seen Atwood and Yates at each other's throats a few times. Atwood accusing Yates of being a slacker. Ferrier confessed she knew of the previous incident. Yates had left his console during a repair and Atwood found the tag on the floor. Not believing the too obvious coincidence M asked who would want to sabotage Yates. Ferrier said that no one would have to make him "look" like a slacker - he always left his station to go have smokes. A pack a day habit, 10 minutes per cigarette, you do the math. "He's absent more than he's there, and the enlisted are tired of covering for him." They caught Yates outside smoking. He said he "couldn't help it." M said they were reversing their decision; then, added that they were adding involuntary manslaughter to it. H wrinkled his nose with incredulity.

On board ship H told M that being there was "like old times," and "we should do it more often." He told M that he bet Clay didn't bring his work home with him. She said she thought they were going to travel light, leaving baggage behind. He said that he "left his baggage in Paraguay," and when she said she would respect his privacy about his "deep dark secret that he left stateside," he replied, not quite under his breath, well "there's a first." M tried to convince Bud of her heavy handed decision. "He's weak, and his lack of self discipline resulted in a fatality," she said. Chegwidden asked Coates if she would help plan his wedding. She agreed and demanded to do it gratis, as an honor. She talked to Meredith (who was on the phone to Italian professore Selvaggio) about the dress. Meredith called it a "parade float," and was stunned that there would need to be at least 12 groomsmen to be formal military at Annapolis. C said it looked like a cantaloupe blown up by a land mine; but, "if Meredith likes it." Co overwhelmed him with her checklist: best man, coed bridal shower, prenuptial agreements and honeymoon insurance. Then she tagged Meredith with menus and French food. Co told M that "they both were becoming uncooperative," and M advised her it was her job to "drag the admiral kicking and screaming if necessary into the connubial bliss that Meredith wants but is too afraid to ask for." "Married men live longer," she said. Asked for the same advice, H told her that someday she'd get married and "spend the equivalent of a house down payment on a party which her friends would attend out of obligation and she would awaken the next day in a champagne hangover and realize that she was stuck with this man for life." He said she would get the same advice from M and was surprised to hear that M had been "Nostalgic" like she "may have found who changed her mind." Eventually Meredith came to tell C that she didn't want to have a big wedding. C said neither did he and Co confessed that she "may have gotten carried away." Meredith also dropped the bombshell that she wanted Cs blessing to go away to Italy over Christmas. She had been invited to the University of Bolognia for Shakespearian drama.

Dupree, Mikey's room-mate, complained about not being able to escort his sister to the Thanksgiving ball because of his honor remediation. Mk offered to take her and he reluctantly agreed. He met Cassie over coffee and found she was pre-law and liked him as much as he liked her. Mk visited B who told him that he "wasn't always the most mature" and needed to focus on his studies. "No matter how much you want it, you can't have it all," B told him. Mk responded that he was 21 and to stop calling him "Mikey." Harriet, who was still planning the USO show, told him that she and B had to "bend the rules a bit" for their relationship and to "not let B convince you not to see her," besides, she told him, "that's not what B wants." When Dupree found them dating he flew off the handle and said "she's 18, if you were my friend, you wouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place." Cassie came to find out what the problem with her brother was and Mk met her first. They kissed and were interrupted by an angry Dupree. She told him "if you don't lighten up on this big brother crap you can find yourself another sister." Dupree requested room reassignment but Mk told him that he had already broken up with his sister. "Now she's mad at both of us." Eventually Dupree brought his sister in her formal so they could go to the dance… as friends… taking it slow.

Mattie tried to contact H several time but didn't get through. Finally H called her. She asked if she would "slow his fast life down." He said "if we're going to be a family, you're going to have to stop doubting me, have a little faith." B and Ht had difficulties finding time for their family with their busy career's. Finally, someone in Baghdad told Ht that the tickets for the concert she was preparing should sell for $700 and asked that she call his wife and tell her he only wanted to be home for Christmas. They both left work for home.

H told C that M was going after Yates with a vengeance and he asked what problem she might have with a "nicotine addict." In Yates defense, H recounted that the CDC called nicotine more addictive than heroine or cocaine. M compared nicotine with chocolate or alcohol and said that it was possible to deny one's addictions for the greater good. She was pontificating grandiosely in court and H argued with her. When the judge called them on it, H commented that there was nothing more annoying than a reformed addict. They were at the bench when Yates collapsed to the floor, sweating. H found several nicotine patches on his chest. M told H that "your addict just OD'd," and "if he wants to impress me he'd quit cold turkey." H sniped, "like you did… twice!" Yates testified that Atwood had been "on his case since the fraternization." He said he had broken it off with Ferrier rapidly and stayed friends. M did follow-up on Ferrier and found she not only started the test early but wasn't even supposed to be on duty. "A woman scorned is a force of nature," and told H "you ought to know." H commented that you could "work side by side with someone and not know what they're thinking," then apologized and asked for a "truce." H pressured Ferrier on the stand that she was the only one with a motive and she admitted that Yates "was everything to me." She was there because she just wanted to see him; but, it was Atwood who had admitted to her that he had removed the tag so he could write Yates up and get him out of the way. He had threatened to hurt her if she told. Atwood confessed to M and she charged him. H told her that she proved her point: "how badly things turn out when co-workers cross lines." She said "it wouldn't have happened if they stayed good friends." So H asked her to get a bite to eat and she declined saying she had a date with Webb.
12/12/2003A Merry Little Christmas
by Stephen Zito
193
[Again, so many fragments it's difficult to summarize, and all of them "soapbox" rather than action; but, an interesting episode, none-the-less, as long as it doesn't become their regular method. Harm and Mac, Turner and his dad, Harriet and Bud, Harm and Mattie, Chegwidden and Meredith, Coates and… well everyone. It is their Christmas show, after all.] Harm and Mattie were rebuilding a carburetor at Grace Aviation, and discussing what she needed to do at their upcoming custody hearing, when Harry Clark burst in the door and became abusive to Mattie. H bristled and grabbed him only to be told that he now owned the hanger and she had better be out in two days. Mattie had a birthday without telling H, and was now 15, and said she "did things my way." She applied for extension on bank loan but they refused when they found out she was running the business, and sold it at auction. The house is still hers, with a bank note. The guardian ad litem, Donna LeMoyne, came on as a shrew and caught H without a lot of specifics to his plans. She said he'd better be ready by the home inspection and needed someone to vouch for his suitability as a parent. H asked M to vouch for him. She reminded him of their 5-year deal; but, when she found out about Mattie, she bristled about him not telling her. He said he didn't think she was interested and she told him "that's the dumbest thing you've ever told me." He said he didn't want to argue "about us" and she shot back "there is no us!" He said "you made sure of that," and she: "you didn't fight me on it… I'm tired of you cutting me out of your life until you need something." He just got up and walked out saying "forget it. This is too important for you to screw up." Morgan Wattley, the home visit, found only beer and tofu in the fridge, no separate bedroom and alcohol bottles. H admitted he had firearms in the house (but locked up), was an F14 pilot (and intended to keep flying), had crashed (4 times), and was reading books about adolescent pathology (preparing for the worst to avoid surprises). Wattley called him "refreshingly candid." Mattie drove herself to Hs apartment saying that her dad, Tom Johnson, had showed up at the house and said he would fight H in court. Johnson told a sob story, had left Mattie with relatives, and got weepy in court but didn't convince the judge. Mattie got angry and said her name was "grace" not "Johnson like him." She said he was a drunk, had killed her mother and she would never live with him. H said that he had given his word to Mattie "that she would never be alone in this world again." M made a surprise visit to the court to testify and elucidated that H had previously: risked his life to protect the son of a fellow aviator (Josh, Kim Douglas), taken personal interest in child cases, taken a child witness into his home (Josh Pendry), and pulled strings to get medical attention for a traumatized girl (Dar-Lin Lewis) while he found her sisters killer. He is "the kind of man I'd want to be the father of my children, and without reservation he is up to the job." The judge didn't think either of them were the answer so ordered Mattie put in a foster home for 6 months while she made up her mind.

Harriett, still producing the Christmas USO show in Baghdad, had Varese Chestnut, a blues singer, snowbound in Reno and not able to get out. She told Bud that "next to raising the kids, this is the most important thing that I've ever done and I want your support." M suggested marine "extraction" from a nearby base. She made it out by snowcat and bumped into Sturgis Turner coming out of the elevator. T knew of her (very well) and told her of his favorite songs. She seemed interested in T as well and said she'd leave his name at the door of where she was performing the next night. He asked if is dad could come. Chaplain Matthew Turner, had been asked by Chegwidden to perform the Christmas Eve service. C also asked him to officiate at his upcoming wedding, May 14th in the Annapolis chapel. Chaplain asked about T and C told him that "he needs to stop expecting perfection" and the old Zito saying: "demand perfection of yourself and be dissatisfied, of others and always disappointed." His dad took a cab home, his idea, and T talked with Verese about both being raised by preachers and needing to be perfect. She said that her dad had waited for the right time then told her of the times he had "fallen from grace." She told him that he should ask his father the same thing and he shot back: "he never did" and quoted 'Soldier, scholar, horseman, he and all he did done perfectly as though he had but that one trait alone." "Yates," he said, "was thinking about my dad when he wrote that." She quoted Bessie Smith's song about all men eventually becoming like "an old worn out ford," and said "no man is perfect." She likes jazz because it starts out with set notes then goes wherever you want, always different, never perfect or meant to be and always in the process of becoming." He said he had been looking for someone like her for a long time.

Coates informed C of a parcel service accident in Italy which burned Meredith's present to a crisp. It was a personalized PDA, which Co said wasn't very personal and offered to help. She bought a Hermes scarf, channel #5, Portolano gloves, and louis Vitton wallet (things she had stolen in her youth). He told her to take them back and get another PDA on his credit card. When she did, and he looked at the PDA he told her to "go to plan C… and let me know the results." She told him how grateful she was to be at JAG and he said "you've got to quit being so damn grateful all the time… it gets rather tiresome. You're earning your keep, that's what matters. Stop thanking everyone." She gave him what she had come up with for a present: a poem about his various presents, their problems and how much he missed her. She had arranged for a member of the cast of Romeo and Juliet in Bolognia, where Meredith would be attending that night, to read it to her personally after the show. Stunned, all C could say was "damn." She asked if he was happy and he replied "for the first time in years."

All were in the chaplains church service, even Co who said she wasn't going to come. He advised that "there are many reasons to turn to God" (and the camera showed close-up's of the various people he was referring to as he said them). "Consolation, healing the brokenhearted, deliverance, liberating the bruised (showing Co, H & M) and guidance (showing T, and Mattie who took H's hand). "God has answers," he said, "if we are willing to listen; but often are lacking the ability to hear what he's saying… too busy in our lives, lost in our own misery, deaf to the sweet music there is. He give us forgiveness for ourselves and others (showing T, H & M again). After the service they all talked on the steps. Mattie asked H, "you won't forget me?" H said "are you kidding?" She went toward her dad in the truck who was going to take her to her foster home. M followed her to the truck and asked to speak to Johnson "one alcoholic to another." When Mikey wondered how the USO show was going, Co said "lets go find out."

All in Cs office, watching a live feed of the show, Ht said that it was the nicest present she'd ever gotten. They watched Verese sing her song and T watched lovingly. The chaplain said "don't miss your chance" and T replied "I don't intend to." Co told C that she had requested a live feed from the armed forces television and she was "afraid she used your name. And may have committed you to a few things, among them a Saturday morning call in show," then stepped back a few paces from him. H was at the Vietnam Wall later looking at his dad's name and Mattie appeared. M had brought her, after convincing Johnson to step aside. She said he had agreed to a full course of treatment and if he pulls it together, and if Mattie wants, they would see. "Until then I'm yours," Mattie said, then added, "you can hug me you know." H asked M to come with them but M said she had a date with Webb.
1/9/2004A Girl's Best Friend
by Darcy Meyers
194
[The first episode of the new year. Chegwidden (C) has, under the recommendation of the wife of a colleague, purchased a diamond engagement ring for Meredith (Mer) (so large the stone can easily be seen in several medium shots.) This episode rids the series of a poorly understandable, and annoying recurrent character.] Meredith made arrangements to wine and dine professore Selvaggio during his teaching trip to DC and was upset at Chegwidden for not wanting to be "the third wheel" in all her "outings" with him. She knocked the diamond out of its setting and demanded that Coates (Co) not tell the admiral "or he would think I'm clumsy." Selvaggio looked at it with a magnifying glass and implied that it might be stolen because it didn't have a laser etched serial number on it. Mer got upset with C, that it might be stolen, but completely ignored his question about Selvaggio. Mac (M) told C that it "looked good to her" and they wondered if Selvaggio was just trying to stir up trouble. C said he'd never met him but there was "just something about the guy" that he didn't trust. M said "at least you show you're romantic" which some guys "can't get right." C told her that he thought she and Harm (H) had "decided to forgive and forget," thinking it was H she was referring to, but she responded "I'm not talking about him." M said that after "living through operation Chaco Borealis" she had a little respect over at Langley, and offered to take the diamond to Agent Van Duyne, their diamond expert. The diamond store told C that they got the diamond from a local man who deals in loose stones. Van Duyne told M there was no way to tell if a stone was stolen, and that he was uncomfortable with diamonds as a token of love - knowing what they buy on the black market - "you tend NOT to hear a love song when you look at one." He said the stone's "symmetry was uncanny… no imperfections… no inclusions… clear as water… and growth structures were without blemish." Suspicious, he asked where she had gotten it; and, suspecting his suspicions, she refused to tell him where she got it, so he just told her, emphatically, to be careful! C went to a factory warehouse's upstairs' back room and grabbed Handy, a sleazy looking guy who called him "Popeye." He had to slam the guy against the wall then chase him through the factory before he "convinced" Handy to admit he had forged the authenticity document on a "blood diamond." C demanded to know where it came from and Handy said "you're not gonna like it." C personally went to the naval research lab to arrest Lt. Maravalis, who was a technician who made synthetic diamonds. M prosecuted and H defended with Bud (B) as second chair.

Harriet (Ht) was taking time off, after her USO show production, to chaperone little AJ's school trip so he would behave. H was absent, for personal reasons, taking custody of "that little girl." H told Mattie (Mt) he was looking for a two bedroom house in Falls Church and she said she wanted to live in the city, showing him an ad for a vacancy in his own apartment building. He told her that "we didn't go through what we went through just to be neighbors" and that she couldn't live alone. B told M that she "was looking well rested" recently, and "it's been a long time since I've seen you so content." When she seemed to give him the eye, he flustered on that he was just "happy that you're happy… and agent Webb (W) … if he's the reason you're happy." She just said: "don't believe everything you hear." C found Cotes' coat and other clothes in drawers around the office and told her to "solve your roommate problems." Co refused H's offer to pay for an apartment if she would have Mt as a roommate; but, changed her mind when he offered to let her put it in her name and pay for Mt's half of the rent. Mt called Co "the cheerleader type" so Co set her straight about her past. When they were moving in, Mt suggested that they might be able to share clothes and said "I could use one of those," pointing to a bra. Co said they needed to go shopping together; and, when Mt said she didn't have any money, told her "do what any girl does… ask 'dad' for his credit card." H took Mt to school and she told him that "you have no idea how navy brass boosts my rep." Her friend Andre, a math geek, "wanted to be a fighter pilot too" and saluted H. H told the boy to "loosen up." Mt asked Co "what made H want to take care of me?" and she replied "probably for the same reason he did me." He lost his dad and has a soft spot for kids who look like they need a father. Mt observed that they had the "same situation" and Co said "and the same guardian angel."

Ms opening statement was grandiose and she used inflammatory photographs without H or B objecting. She said mother and child slaves were forced to mine diamonds which were spirited to jewel centers and paid for weapons to arm other children so they can maim other children. Maravalis spent lots of time at Belgian diamond exchange, smuggled them into the US and, with help of a forger, pass them off as legitimate. Four months previous he opened an off shore bank account and lives beyond the means of a career officer. In B's opening statement, he used all the tricks that M and H had taught him. He used the photos from Ms desk and said Maravalis had no ties to Africa etc. He was recently married to someone who had money. Van Duyne pulled Ms car over and gave her a folder with documents which proved she had the "right guy but the wrong theory." Maravalis had been under CIA surveillance for 3 months but they could only look at foreign entanglements. He said he "never wanted to find out what it feels like to be tortured by the enemy - like W; and was giving them to M so he could nail Maravalis. The next step, he claimed, was going under cover to sell diamonds to scum like Sadik Fahd but he'd lost his nerve. He said he had given the same folder to an operative in Brussels. M interviewed Dr (name not given), the director of the lab who admitted he was Van Duyne's anonymous informant. He initially refused to talk because these were the "kind of guys who won't stop at you, but will kill your whole family." She threatened him and he eventually testified that he had seen 60 stones (120 carats) go missing from the lab. They made synthetic diamonds for "thermal management of semi-conductors" and cost almost nothing to make but sell for 1.3 million on the open market. You can only tell the difference from the natural stones by using spectrophotometry - they are too picture perfect to pass for natural. Cs stone, he said, "was definitely one of mine." M found that Van Duyne never contacted anyone in Brussels and had disappeared. Maravalis agreed to a plea bargain and admitted that he started with one but then started selling stones to a local dealer and to Antwerp. He wore his uniform to add "credibility" and gave a sob story about his mother being poor and never having an engagement ring etc. He said his new wife wouldn't stand by a thief so had filed for divorce. H said Maravalis would torn over his money and give back un-sold stones. The judge told him he didn't buy his sob story because: "guess what, my mother never had a ring either."

Discussing the case after the trial, H said "love can drive a man crazy." M said "that runs both ways." H invited her to Mt's new apartment for lunch. Mt answered the door in boxers and H admonished her saying he felt "like captain Von Trapp." M had to explain the reference to "The Sound of Music," and both Mt and Co just said: "what?" Co told H that "I guess we need a DVD player dad." C went to Mer's apartment after work and found her asleep on the couch with classical Italian music playing. The sleazebag Selvaggio came out of the bedroom in his underwear. Mer sat up, but just looked at C. Neither said anything, but C, without showing emotion, just turned and left.
1/16/2004Good Intentions
by Thomas Moran
195
[An interesting plot, even with more than one internal inconsistencies which weren't caught in editing. It does set up a substantial argument between Chegwidden and Coates; which, then was merely completely ignored in future episodes, as if it never happened. There were several un-named characters, annoying for a reviewer] Ensign Monica De La Torre (DLT) was found strangled at the Norfolk Naval Ship yard, and fingernail scrapings matched DNA of PO Luis Cumpiano (Cmp), who was found passed out on his ship with scratches on his arm and no memory of events since being forced to drink for initiation rites. Mac (M) met Chaplain Oliver Stephens, who said he'd been "working closely" with Cmp for 3 years. He started preaching to M and said that he was an alcoholic in recovery for 17 years and Cmp was a leader of one of his groups. M shut him off by revealing that she was in recovery for "5 years and 10 months." Cmp admitted he had been in recovery for 2 1/2 years, until shipmates wouldn't take no for an answer and forced him into the "Tequila Bowl." Literally, everyone anyone talked to said that Cmp "couldn't have done it" because it was completely out of his character. Harm (H) talked to the civilian detective who, except for DNA evidence, seemed to be operating on circumstantial evidence. The cab driver had said that "Cumpiano" (?DLT) was trying to get him back on base; but, insisted on coming to the pier, saying he wanted to swim back." Elisa, Cmp's wife, said he "wouldn't even talk bad about someone, much less try to hurt them." M tried, a couple of times, to convince H that alcohol impairs judgment and inhibition but doesn't transform personality. H refused to agree to any plea lower than unpremeditated murder and said he would go for capital aggravating factors. A fellow sailor told M that DLT attracted attention because of her looks and approachable personality. He also said that Cmp was bullied by his wife, Elisa, but seemed to be ok with it. He could see her busting someone's head more than Cmp. H, still questioning the detective, badgered him until he admitted that there was an unsolved murder a year ago, on the same dock, with same MO; but, told H to "just do your job and let me do mine." H revealed the prior event to M, and also that Cmp had been deployed on a ship at the time. They were notified that a marine guard had overheard Cmp confess to the murder while he was talking to the chaplain. M chastised Stephens for even starting the conversation where he might be overheard; but, he tried to turn it back on M. Cmp said he still had no memory of doing any harm to DLT, but Stephens had told him to pray and beg for mercy and the Lord would forgive him, which is what he was doing. M found that Elisa had called Cmp on his cell phone, while he was at the bar, and believed that she may have been the killer.

Coates (Co) interrupted C's meeting for a phone message from Meredith, and was pushy about getting him on the line. He told her that "he would take care of it" then took back all involvement with wedding plans from her. She kept on interjecting and interfering to the point he eventually had to shout: "stay out of it, that's an order." Then, softening, he added "and a personal request." Finally, when C was in his office late one night, she told him "Whatever happened between you two… I'm sure can be worked out." He told her "you don't have any idea what you are talking about." She pushed "only because you won't tell me"; and, stunned, he asked "why would I?" She said "it might make you feel better," which was the last straw he would take. He shot back "that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. Get out of my office and leave me alone!"

Bud (B) was assigned to defend Cdr Michael Rainer, of the SEAL training team, for misappropriation of funds. Turner (T) prosecuted. Rainer told B that, with his degree and experience he wouldn't steal from the navy, he would have retired. He claimed that ammunition had been used before he had a chance to inventory it. B watched an extraction exercise from a catwalk and was surprised that it used live ammunition. Rainer said that had sacrificed his health, 2 marriages, and 3 kids he hardly sees, for the Navy. The job is my life and I wouldn't jeopardize it for $22,000. A weenie supply officer pontificated to B and T that there was an "anonymous hotline tip," and that they had found receipts didn't match vendor's documents. Checks cut for munitions had been fraudulently endorsed and cashed, but never actually ordered or delivered. B cleverly backed down his client saying: "you are either a forger or know the person who is," then mentioned the severe penalty he was going to get. Rainer admitted to forging the paperwork, but said he had used the money "to procure experimental ordinance which, for security reasons, he couldn't discuss." B said he "wasn't that gullible" and Rainer took him to see Russian knock out gas and vials of antidote(?). B showed T documents showing the purchase from Spetsgruppa Alfa, Russian special forces counter terror unit, and said that the purchase orders only claimed to be for "non-lethal hostage rescue operations." T was still unconvinced, but B only said that Rainer didn't think he'd done anything wrong and wanted to testify. On the stand, Rainer said that he'd entered into classified procurement deals without authorization from chain of command; but, he had the duty to disobey orders which he knew to be counter to the safety and security of the US. If he could rescue anyone without firing a bullet, it would be unlawful and immoral not to do so. The judge recommended general court martial and Rainer told B to "plead it out, I've made my point, no since taking this any further." T agreed to dismissal, restitution with loss of benefits and 1 yr confinement, suspended.

H went to Ms apartment and said he was worried about M - "allowing your past to jeopardize your judgment, especially your client." She reiterated that ETOH didn't change your true nature, only made it harder to control the one you already have. He said that sometimes a persons true nature is buried so deep they never understand it. Marcie Jones, the crime lab tech, said the only other evidence was one broken hair; but, they couldn't match it without a follicle. M asked if there was a way to tell if the person was on prenatal vitamins, thinking Elisa, but they would need more sample and a direct comparison with someone. M asked for a "discarded tox screen printout," just to "humor me." H interviewed the jailer who had heard the confession and found that they both had been talking very loud. The chaplain told Rainer that the Lord would have mercy on him… DLT was in a better place… and the Lord was behind the shack that night and "saw everything." M bluffed Elisa, with hints about tox screen, to finally admitting that she had followed DLT and her husband from the bar to the pier and saw DLT wrestling with Cmp (actually trying to prevent him from disrobing and swimming to the ship.) She flew off the handle, accosted DLT, kicked the unconscious Cmp, and wouldn't listen to any explanations. DLT left, saying she just was trying to help, then she left too, leaving her unconscious husband on the dock. H pulled up in his car, as M was accusing her, and told M that Elisa didn't kill DLT. They both went to see Stephens. At first he denied everything, even though they had record of his car getting a ticket on the dock at the time of the murder and a signed statement from his pusher who sold him cocaine. The body was found 20 yards from a shack that no one knew about, except the killer and the police. Stephens quoted scripture at M and she quoted them right back. He finally broke down and said he couldn't sleep, couldn't think and couldn't feel anything, but he didn't actually confess. Cmp was released and said thanks to M. H said that "he owed you more than a thank you. You didn't give up, sensed something was wrong and forced me to reconsider. Watching Elisa and Cmp together, M commented they've known each other since eighth grade and still have secrets." H said, "don't we all."
2/6/2004People vs. SecNav
by Larry Moskowitz
196
[This would be classified as a pretty far fetched episode if it just wasn't that the depiction of the Frenchman was too close to be funny. He is just the type who would make secret arms deals with the Iraqi tyrant; then, try to mask his vested interest behind a feigned moral principle, at the US's expense. ] A Platoon of the 1st marine division was pinned down by cross fire coming from a Tikifa hospital. They called for air support but there were secondary explosions and several civilian buildings were destroyed. The Athens bar association filed a complaint with the international criminal court charging the US president, Secretary of Defense, SECNAV and others with war crimes - calling it the "Iraqi incursion." Even though Chegwidden (C) said it was meaningless because the US didn't recognize the court, the SECNAV said the Clinton administration was shifting policy and he had chosen, himself, to go to the Hague and answer the charges in order to "improve the US image" with the rest of the world. Thirty two civilians were killed (18 patients in the hospital) so Mac (M) said "if we loose we will be branded an outlaw nation by the entire civilized world." Afterwards, Harm (H) teased her for being "too dramatic." M, H and Bud (B) were summoned to the white house where Marcia Wheatstone, an advisor, said she disagreed with the decision; but, had set up meetings for them with Justice, Defense and State. A soldier told H that Iraqi's were overwhelmingly surrendering everywhere, making it impossible to do anything but take their weapons and send them home. Tikifa was on the road to Baghdad and had to be secured. Another, told M that that they couldn't wait for reinforcements, because the crossfire made it impossible to evacuate their wounded. Lieutenant Morris said that they had sent in corpsmen, to assist wounded civilians, but they were being shot. "We were the liberators, Saddam is the criminal," he told H, and said he would go to testify, even though he wouldn't have immunity. At the airport, chief inspector Doosman had a warrant, and arrested the SECNAV for a "perp walk." Immediately, H objected to the "glass booth," as visually prejudicial, so the SECNAV was allowed to sit with his defense team. A flamboyant, weenie, Frenchman with an "inspector Cleuseau" accent and an imperious attitude (weenie) read the "sharges," and the SECNAV plead "not guilty." The weenie first called a Dr. Aziz who said they had moved some patients to the lower level and the Iraqi soldiers were trying to "protect them from the American and British aggressors." H got him to reluctantly acknowledge that Iraqi's had stored munitions in the hospital long before the American's came, and that he had "protested" both that and the occupation of the building. Then the weenie called Mrs. Bahnam, a distraught mother, whose 6-year-old, crying son had been killed in a second explosion. H got her to admit that her husband, a teacher, had been taken to prison by Saddam's men six years ago and was now "missing." "Saddam," she said, "will get a trial but my husband didn't." Later M told H that "Webb sends his love," and H replied "that's a scary thought." He despaired to M that "it could have been me dropping the bomb, and Bahnam doesn't see any difference between me and a murderous dictator!" The weenie even called the secretary general of the UN who incredibly called the US action in Iraq "unsanctioned by the UN and therefore illegal." H got him to reluctantly admit that the UN allowed "military action for purposes of self defense." The secretary quoted the biblical passage about the lamb and lion lying down together and H responded "well before the 'lamb' rules against eating 'me,' he better get the wolf to agree." Lt Morris told that they were pinned down, had wounded, receiving fire from two locations including the hospital and were scrupulously avoiding hospital and civilian targets. "If Iraqi's hadn't used the hospital as a bunker it would still be standing today," he said. The Weenie pompously challenged "what gave you the right to be on Iraqi soil in the first place?" Morris said "first, my orders; but, then I saw the mass graves, spoke to a father forced to watch his little boy's arms cut off, a woman repeatedly raped and tortured. I didn't have the right to be there -- I had an obligation!" During a break, a man came from the audience with a knife and tried to stab the SECNAV in the back; but Morris got in the way and took the blow.

Coates (Co) was bitten on the leg by little AJ who was hiding under her desk. Harriet (Ht) complained that the school was out, her baby sitter was sick, she had a deadline on paperwork and AJ was "acting out, because of the new school and new baby." AJ broke into C's office and the admiral offered him a cookie. AJ asked "what is acting out," and C told him "when something is bothering you and you don't say what, but instead do things you shouldn't." AJ told C that "mom and dad are always with the baby and I'm always with the babysitter." Mikey (Mk) was babysitting AJ at an arcade and AJ didn't want to leave. He begged for "one more" and when Mk turned to get another token to give in to him, he ran away. Of course Ht came to the arcade flailing and blaming Mk. B left their case in the Hague and returned, only to flail at him as well, blaming and abusive. B spouted that "You're worthless, you've always been worthless, you'll always be worthless." Mk just walked out. He went back to the arcade and saw a boy with AJ's coat and "frog pet" that he had given him. The boy ran to his father, in a transient shelter, who told Mk that AJ had given them as presents and had told them that he 'didn't have a family.' AJ appeared as if nothing had happened and called Albert and Bobby his friends because "he doesn't have to go to work and take care of some dumb baby." Alfred didn't want any dealings with the police so had avoided their searches. B tried to tell Mk "he didn't mean it" and he "would make a fine officer." Mk said "yea, I know, but you don't." He said B would always see him as "a kid brother, dumb and worthless -- you and dad." He said he was tired of it so next time they needed a babysitter, chauffer or stooge to call someone else. "And," he said, "it's Mike not Mikey" as he walked out.

The weenie, who apparently was only providing security for the prosecution side of things, offered to drop charges if SECNAV plead guilty and made reparations. He called the US an "arrogant bully"; but SECNAV countered with "arrogant, that's a French word isn't it? After all these years of being friends and allies, you still don't have any idea who we are!"
The pompous-faced weenie taunted: "well tell us, just who you are." (The scene cut to the next day in court.)
SECNAV: "Since it's founding, America has been the symbol of hope for the world, and remains so today. We accept our responsibility, which all civilized nations should, to fight against aggression and tyranny. We don’t fight for land, oil, money or to impose our will -- we take up arms against violent men who threaten our freedom and the freedom of others."
Weenie: Did the world ask you to be its savior?
SECNAV: In 1917, 1941 and throughout the 40 years of cold war, the world asked us for help… and we gave it! Now that the war on terrorism has begun, we can't wait to be asked. We must do what has to be done!
Weenie: So you have the right to attack any nation of which you disagree?
SECNAV: If that nation poses imminent threat, we reserve the right to use military force to protect ourselves.
Weenie: (Just a stupid look on his face.) No further questions.

The court's decision: "The use of armed force without the mandate of the security counsel is a breech of international law; but, must be weighed against each particular case. Would greater loss of life have occurred if Iraq's tyrannical regime had continued? Moral, as well as legal factors, must influence court decision." The SECNAV was found "not guilty" on all counts, except "willful destruction of civilian property," and reparations of $20 million to the town was ordered. The weenie told the SECNAV that he disagreed with the decision; but, was glad that he "didn't have to spend his life in jail." The SECNAV spoke French to him and said that the two countries' long time friendship shouldn't be discarded, so asked him to go have a drink. (A bigger man than I am.)
2/13/2004Crash
by Matt Witten
197
[Although completely at odds (surprise, surprise) Mac and Harm investigate the same case in this episode. In a momentary lapse, Chegwidden reveals a rudimentary sense of humor; and, Bud seems to be "growing up"... a bit.] Lt. James Ross crashed his F18 Hornet onto the ramp of the USS Bennington and was killed. Both Harm (H) and Mac (M) were assigned to investigate, and Captain Goldman complimented H on his "Seahawk investigation." They found that Ross had been landing on "automatic" but needed to switch to manual because he was too low. Then, they found that most of the plane had been burned, along with the maintenance data tapes. They were told that Ross had been following the glide path programmed into the computer; but, its data was also lost, so they couldn't check it. PO 1st class Dakey denied any computer error and said that most often problems are due to a misaligned angle of attack vane. The senior chief got defensive and said the vane was NOT out of order, because they had specifically double checked it. H asked why he was so defensive and he said he didn't like to speak ill of the dead. Ross had come back from two weeks leave, very depressed, and said that, because his wife was having an affair, he didn’t care what happened to him anymore. The Sr. Chief said he didn't believe the crash was an accident. M found an unsent email, to Ross' wife Arlene, which said "give me one good reason I shouldn't just fly into the back of the ship some night. I told Stanich I didn't care if I live or die and he said he didn't give a damn either, and to just suck it up and keep flying." They confronted the CAG, Cdr Stanich, with the email and he didn't deny the encounter; but, said that he didn't take the comment seriously because most of the flyers had come back from leave with mood swings. They both thought that Ross' death looked like it was suicide, but M also tore into Stanich with a passion. H and M argued in front of the captain, and he asked: "you two work together? That must be a picnic." But, he agreed with M and ordered an article 32 investigation on Stanich. M strong-armed Ross' wife into testifying against Stanich, threatening to subpoena her. She said that she would loose $500,000.00 insurance money if it was adjudged suicide. M and H continued their argument in front of Chegwidden (C), who said he agreed with H. They were so adamant that C told H he would prosecute and M defend. When they just stood there stunned and sputtering - C said "just kidding."

H wanted to delay going on the investigation for a day, so he could keep an appointment with one of Mattie's (Mt) teachers. He didn't say anything to C though, and asked Coates (Co) to substitute for him. She said she would talk with the "Dragon Lady," and watch Mt, if H would "leave his credit card." Drabowski, the teacher, was threatening to flunk Mt if she didn't hand in all of the semesters work, even though she wasn't there for half of it. Drabowski really was an unreasonable, judgmental, witch, who started ragging on H for being "an uncaring, uninvolved parent." Mt tried to get her back on track, but Drabowski turned on Mt as well; so, Mt walked out on her. Co called H and said Mt "needed a little parenting." Mt told him that Drabowski said he was "an irresponsible father who didn't care about her education," and H said: "so you were sticking up for me." Mt told him that he would have the chance to stick up for himself next Friday and H promised that "nothing would keep him away." When H got back, he found that Mt had stayed home from school, ostensibly ill, and told her that if she "ever was feeling overwhelmed, to promise him that she would come to him." She said, "sure, I'll do that, if you're around." He told her that he never felt he was a teenager and had always regretted it. He said that she had "plenty of time to grow up so to enjoy the freedom." She said that she had been free to do pretty much what she wanted before she met him, and he merely said "so could I." Of course, he left the next week and told Mt "I'll try and be back." She told him "go ahead, knock yourself out!"

Bud (B) was shown calling Mike (Mk) and getting the answering machine. He left a message about "how long is this act going to go on - Mikey?" but was interrupted by H. B was second chair in the defense and had found "suicide prevention training" on the internet. He had H respond to a distressed "virtually depressed" sailor, and the computer gave H "zero" on his "don't be a fool" response. B told H that when he was depressed over his leg, he was "just glad I didn't have a gun around." Arlene testified that Ross had come home a cocky career pilot, who ordered everyone around like they were enlisted personnel, and argued. He got the idea that she was having an affair and wouldn't listen to reason. When Ross had called her from Naples, she made him promise to "see someone" if he felt bad, and he promised that he would see his CO. M pontificated and the judge (not to mention H) had to tell her to stop editorializing several times. Stanich said he regretted giving the pilots leave, because they all came back unfocused, bickering and saying off the wall things. One said he was going to slug the captain so he could be sent home, another that he was going to jump ship and swim back to Naples. He thought Ross was fooling around like the rest of us. H found that Ross had ordered a motorcycle two days before his death, and asked for a continuance, so he could go back to the ship. When there, he asked for an F18 so he could recreate the flight. He told the captain that he had gotten his quals "in another agency." B told Dakey that they had been able to resurrect the "last 84 minutes" of Ross' flight and were going to follow the settings exactly. During the flight, Dakey nervously tried to say the numbers were wrong and stop the flight. He finally got so nervous that he blurted out "the radar's wrong, that's why Ross crashed." H told him he had been flying on manual the whole time. He admitted that there had been a "couple of 4 wires that night. Planes had been landing long so he tweaked the settings." Both B and the Capt ragged on Dakey about his allowing a woman to think her husband had committed suicide and loose benefits as well as letting Stanich go to jail. The Capt told him that he would be in the brig "for years" and Dakey broke and ran. He climbed outside the ships rail and threatened to jump. B told everyone to "let him handle it" (probably because of his internet training making him an expert) and tried to commiserate with Dakey. When that wasn't working he blurted: "don't be a fool" which got him to stop; and brought him back inside the railing.

The judge acknowledged the new information, but ragged on Stanich about how insensitive he'd been, anyway. Then he said Stanich had "probably learned his lesson" and recommended against a court-martial. H made it to Mt's school just in time; but, didn't avoid the Dragon Lady's launch into her tirade. Finally H pulled out a business plan for a crop dusting company, letters to the IRS, banks and suppliers, and a 20-page letter to the juvenile court judge that Mt had written over her custody hearings. Drabowski said "I suppose that will do."
2/20/2004Persian Gulf
by Philip DeGuere
198
[One back story comes to an end (sort of) in this episode; but, there's still plenty left to worry about. At least Mac isn't left with an albatross like Harm was with Palmer. One premise, albeit necessary for the plot, was completely unbelievable to anyone but a naïve writer.] The Maravelis case (a naval research tech who stole the synthetic diamonds that he was making) was still on the docket because Harm (H) and Mac (M) were still trying to close his bank accounts and get into his safe deposit box. Getting into his car, H's car wouldn't start then his battery blew up in his face (making him deaf?) Bud (B) took over the case and found, with Mac, that there was only $100,000.00 and the diamonds were missing. Maravelis admitted that he had been selling them to agent Van Duyne, who had told him that if he didn't cop to the lesser plea he would be tried for treason. CIA director Kershaw stonewalled Mac (surprise) but eventually told her that Van Duyne had been tortured to death and Mac's warning about him "hadn't trickled up to him." Mac brainstormed that the 24 missing diamonds were in Van Duyne's cigar store locker and took B with her. There were only five there, and we saw Sadik Fahd, in disguise, watching them leave the store. When she got back to her apartment, she found Iranian music playing on her stereo and a single diamond on her bed. Sadik called her cell phone and began playing a "cat and mouse" game with her. He told her that Van Duyne had brought his death on himself and that the diamond was a "token of my esteem" for he had "great admiration for you Sarah." He called her "incredibly brave" and said he "wanted to make it up to her." Sadik was staying with, Fardad, a gay Iranian and eventually killed him; but, not before telling him that his name, Fahd, meant "lynx" in Iranian. Chegwidden (C) assigned Turner (T) to take over from Mac because she had new evidence and was now going to be a witness as they amended their charges to aiding the enemy in a time of war.

H stayed in the hospital over night, deaf, and Mattie (Mt) came to visit. Coates (Co) had told H, on his writing easel, that "lies = bad parenting." Mt thought H was sleeping so prayed and wanted God to "do a better job taking care of him." When H got home, he wouldn't let Mt miss school. M came to tell him about Fahd javing booby trapped his car. Webb was still unaccounted for, and H told her that she "picked a hellava boyfriend." She told him to "not look so happy about it." H played scrabble with Co and Mt, and had to tell them that "duh" wasn't a word. M came again and he told her that Sadik was "seducing you." "Sadik wants something from you," he told her, "and he's found your weakness. You want to know what he's up to, and he's using your intelligence against you." She told H he couldn't help, because he was "still a liability." Mac found the night club where Sadik had called her with the woman singing Iranian in the background. She sat down and Sadik called again, talking to her as he changed his disguise and walked across the street to where she was. He kidnapped her, at gun point, and took her back to the apartment, where he began his battle of rhetoric with her. He told her that she was out of her place and had no man to protect her. She mocked his fear that he still held "a woman at gun point." He holstered his gun. Mac continued to mock him in her exchange of words. He explained that this month was the 25th anniversary of the Iranian revolution. He was nine when he saw Buhollah Khomeini in person and had an "enlightenment" about "world justice and peace under Islam." His father was killed by the Shah's secret police and within a year he was in the army, which set Tehran in flames, as "the war began." He told M that America's downfall was that "everything is for sale… even, permissive action links (triggers for nuclear weapons)." He said: "bought from your arsenal, paid for with your diamonds." She asked him if there was anything that he would "give up his Jihad for?" He asked "are you making an offer?" and she replied "do I have something you want?" He asked for "tea." Still trading insults, he told M that she "was pretending to be a woman, no man, no kids, a barren life in a prison of fear." She said that what attracted him to her "was the same thing that angers you… my independence."

They were overlooking the nightclub where he said he was going to "blow it up, so you can see that you aren't safe anywhere... except with me, to protect you." She told him that "slaughtering a bunch of kids while you watch from a distance is scraping the bottom of the barrel… even for you Sadik." When he told her it was less than 10 minutes, she began sexually enticing him with "what will it take for you to change your mind?" They heard sirens outside, and the bomb squad evacuating the night club. M unbuttoned her blouse and showed him the "wire" that she was wearing. While he was looking, she kicked his gun out of his hand, slammed him into the couch and slugged him to the punctuation of: "I'm not weak… I'm not barren… I'm not a whore." She got to the fallen gun first, but he drew another from his coat. She shot him in the arm and, while he was down, said: "that one was for Harm… this one's for Clayton Webb" and shot him through the forehead. The CIA team broke through the door and told her to "stand down." She told Kershaw that she was sorry she'd killed him, because he "might have told us where he was getting the PAL," but Kershaw just said "he might have killed you." As she walked, alone, out of the apartment, she looked at herself in the mirror and said "I'm not sorry."
2/27/2004Take It Like a Man
by Darcy Meyers
199
[A couple of moderately interesting plots; but, not the JAG that got us all hooked on the series. Ms. Meyers should have had a psychologist review her script, or at least talked to one before submitting it. Dialogue is unrealistic and contrived.] Marine Corporal Hal Strange was bilking schools and organizations out of speaking fees, claiming he received a silver star that he didn't. The SECNAV decided to throw the book at him and Mac (M) was assigned to defend while Harm (H) prosecuted. M acted glib, rushed and childish to Chegwidden (C) and others and continually picked fights with people. M advised Strange to change his plea to guilty; but he said that "he deserved the medal" and refused. He condescendingly told M that he "doubted she had any idea of what combat was like and had ever killed anyone." Her look told him otherwise and then there was stupid dialog about how "didn't she think she deserved one?" Webb (W) was back and in her apartment. After intimacy, she then told him that "one of these days he wouldn't receive such a welcome." He asked if she was mad that he was leaving or that he wasn't there when Sadik came. After more insipid conversation about how killing "made you more alive and made you more passionate" she told him that he was "sick." He said he wasn't having the conversation and left. She told C that Strange said he had earned the medal but his men wouldn't vouch for him so he wanted his day in court to stick it to the Marines. She argued with him saying "you don't know me as well as you thought!" When he suggested she had come back to work to soon, she glibly claimed that she was "honored to help Sadik obtain the martyrdom he desired and anticipated a fruit basket from the white house for riding the world of a terrorist." She blasted into her defense by attacking the teacher who had hired Strange to speak; and continued after H's objections were sustained to the point that the judge held her in contempt. C read her the riot act and ordered her to see a psychologist at Bethesda. She shot back criticizing his behavior "denying your own broken heart." (oh good grief) He told her to "lock it up" and get her "butt to the shrink before she exhausted what was left of his charitable nature."

Tom Johnson called H because Mattie (Mt) wasn't taking his calls. He wanted to "see my little girl" and H had to corner her into having dinner with him. He told her that he knew she could handle it and she pouted that "I know I can… but can you?" (?!) Mt acted like an arrogant ass at the dinner, attacking her dad for "killing her mother." H effusively apologized for her and forced him to accept a ride home. He told Mt that someday she would regret pushing him out of your life and she sulked that "I think I was happier before I met you!" Taking her to school, H gave her brochures for Alateen which she agreed to "consider" if he "would forgive me for being such a brat." Bud (B), on the other hand, went back to his role as the series' buffoon. He showed Turner (T), back from the "big easy" with Verese, a rare Habu pit viper snake that he was keeping in his office because "the evidence room was too cold." Trying to arrange a plea bargain for a Ensign Thompson, who had smuggled it in from Okinawa in his shirt, B had to visit him in the hospital where he was receiving anti-venom for his bites. B found the lid to the snakes cage open and then spent the entire episode sneaking around the office looking for it without telling anyone. He even barged into C's office just as C was finding the heart shaped locket that Meredith had given him. Thompson wanted the snake to go to the Zoo instead of "becoming a wallet" and B frustrated the convening authority into granting it, along with no brig time. T found the snake in his office and duct taped into his garbage can.

M went to W's apartment and was all over him at first, so he stopped her saying: "this isn't you." More odd dialog started with his: "standard psychological debriefing" after Paraguay, her having finished his assignment for him last week, and lashing that people had "inconvenient emotions" and he "didn't have what it takes to make me happy." With the psychologist, Lt. Cdr McCool, she was just as glib and flippant. After she related the story (because her file was classified) McCool offered that the "killing had left a hole in your subconscious." (?!) She continued her abrasive defense of Strange and discussed "medal inflation" where people got them but didn't deserve them. He said that he had saved two men but they wouldn't back up his story. She then lit into H about his "brother preferring to live in Russia than around you." She claimed H "pulled people into your circle just so you can push them away again." He told her that "this isn't about me loosing interest in Mt. You think I'm loosing interest in you." On the stand, Strange admitted he was a loner and the men didn't like him. H looked at M when he responded: "that's the problem with being a loner. You make it impossible to be your friend, then you wonder why you're always alone." M told Strange he was loosing and asked if he had ever asked the men "nicely." She gave him the address of one of the men, who was shown later testifying that Strange had really saved them. He had gone to thank Strange and was attacked about being incompetent. The men decided that they would never admit the incident. "All I ever wanted was an apology," he claimed. Then, after recalling Strange to the stand, M looked at H while she offered "you just wanted someone to realize what you'd been through and in your anger you went about it the wrong way."

Back with McCool, M said her childhood was unpredictable and she was afraid of abuse from her father. She "went back to thinking that I had to look out for myself and every disagreement became a chance to attack." When McCool tried to engage her into more conversation, M blurted "I'm fine now, continued talking wasn't the agreement" and started to leave. She said killing her former husband was a tragedy because she had cared for him; but "last week was just taking out the garbage." McCool told her she could always come back. Back at Webb's, she apologized; then, told him that if he "shut me off when I need you one more time… were done!" "Sadik wanted me," she said, so she had tested him to see if his thoughts were as "pure as he claimed." He resisted, she said, "like I wish I had my entire life." She admitted that "he was down when I shot him," the report was agency charity, "I killed him because he had hurt someone that I love." W responded, "I love you too, Sara."
3/12/2004What If (200th Episode)
by Stephen Zito & Don McGill
200
[The writers/producers were getting a bit nostalgic with this, the 200th, episode. Through Harm's 'daydreams', they conjectured about what the series might have been like if they had directed the characters differently at various 'choice points.' It is another 'role playing' episode; but, where the major cast play themselves in an alternate universe. Still, however, it's pretty much another 'soapbox opera' and NOT the typical JAG we are looking for.] On the occasion of PO Coates' (Co) promotion to first class, the 'regulars' were at a Chinese restaurant for dinner. Chegwidden (C) overruled the argument about who should open their fortune cookie first by saying "we'll go by height, you first Rabb." Harm's (H) was: "Your unspoken desire is the road not taken, take it"; but, he avoided the obligatory "reading aloud." Instead he lapsed into a reverie in which he was at JAG receiving his wife, Mac (M), who was dressed in silk "civvies," acting childishly flippant, and wanting their divorce papers signed. They had decided to marry, after the night in Sydney harbor, but now she said she was tired of him not paying attention to her and announced she was quitting the service and marrying John Farrow, a river guide in Colorado. M had come to get admiral Krennick (K) to sign her terminal leave papers; but, instead H talked her into assigning M "her last case," as defense for Marine Col. Sutter charged with harming a prisoner. K told H that she did it so "you can get it out of your system and move on to someone tough, ambitious and able to give you the ride of your life." He told her to remember that he had "pulled 9 1/2 G's in a tomcat" and she responded "then maybe you're ready for me." Sutter had taken the recalcitrant detainee outside and fired his gun next to the man's head, in order to get him to reveal secret plans which eventually saved the lives of many men. Sutter told M that a female JAG had tried, unsuccessfully, to get information for 10 hours and then had "tattled" on him when he did what she couldn't. He said "phoney marines… women who have never seen combat can't possibly understand what is at stake." H insisted he take M and Farrow to lunch; then, traded zingers with Farrow, took the seat between them, and offered M a plea bargain, which Sutter had already turned down. When M found what H had done, she got right into his face and said "I'm going to kick your butt!"

Next, C deferred to Bud (B) and Harriett (Ht), who simultaneously read H's same fortune out loud. That sent H back into another reverie where Ht's parents had died and left her "all the money in the world." She came to B's "spa king" store to ask for an install before her housewarming party, for her new mansion. B told her he left the navy "when you lost interest in me" and Mikey (Mk) intimated that he had been pining for her. Ht said she had left him at the altar, because she didn't think he was mature enough, but now realized that it had been her own problem. M and H had their usual "veiled" bickering in the courtroom, where their statements had double meaning to their own lives. She told H that "loving you was like stepping on a rusty nail." H offered to give her their photo album, containing all their memories. She refused, but then took it when he wasn't looking. H told her "what if fate meant us to be together… but we both just got in our own way?" M countered with "what if, just doesn't get it done." Verese was practicing at Ht's house with "mister" Turner (T) watching and having some sort of "agreement terms," for Ht, in his briefcase. Ht showed B and Mk her million dollar paintings. In court, Sutter said, "you can't play by the rules when your enemy doesn't." M said: "I'll say," and H objected. M told judge Seibring "that was under my breath… and besides, I object. The counselor is badgering ME." Seibring said "you're flirting with contempt," and she retorted: "I am NOT flirting!" H's double meaning statement: "we can blame others for our predicament's, but the truth is we make our own bed" (looking directly at M) brought her retort "your honor, he didn't make the bed in two years!"

Next, C tried to defer again, but Co shamed him into opening a cookie with her. They got the same fortune, sending H back into the reverie. C and Meredith (Md) were married and he was a retired attorney who was defending Co, who had just skipped bail. Co had gone AWOL at Christmas and was now part of an art theft ring and known as the "cat woman." C told Md that Co was after a rare Shakespeare folio, then had to summarily turn down MD's offer to "help." Co was shown telling "Stan," her contact (from Magnum PI), that she had already "cased" Ht's new house, posing as a caterer. Md went to Ht's to see the folio, which she said she had bought on her accountant's advice, and had under security devices. B told Ht he would do the bathroom at no charge, but she said that with all her money she "still felt something was missing," then invited him to her party. H caught M looking at their photo album and she retorted "you're not the WORST thing that ever happened to me." In court, H continued his obtuse double meaning questioning, about "not being too proud to admit when they're wrong," to the point that Seibring threw up his hands in submission. He called them to the bench during an argument and told them to resolve their differences. They said that their "marriage counselor had quit."

Next, T refused to take a cookie saying he could only eat soy because of allergies. M took her cookie (the same fortune), but claimed that it said: "wherever you go, there you are." Back in the reverie, Seibring told Sutter that he had heard many things which troubled him, but "none had anything to do with this case" so adjudged for administrative action only. He told M and H that he wasn't going to discipline them because he found their squabbling entertaining. M and Farrow were leaving on a train; but, H shamed them into going to Ht's party, so as "not to leave any unfinished business." Verese was the entertainment, and T was engaged to her. H asked K for "more indulgence…" and promised her "rebound potential." Mk chatted up Co, a server. Md spotted Co, but C didn't believe her. C told Md that he "believed in fate" and they were meant to be together. B told Ht that he had "more money than she did" with his 17 outlets in 5 states, Spa King, and patent on the "miracle tickler." H gave M her signed divorce papers to "file with your terminal leave papers, retirement orders and every other burned bridge from your past unhappy life." She said that he "never committed until she had one foot out the door" and stormed out. T told H that if he let M go he "would wonder 'what if' the rest of your life." H said "destiny has spoken," and T replied that his dad always said that "destiny speaks through the choices we make." H found that M had left her coat with her train ticket in the pocket. Co and "Stan" broke into Ht's Shakespeare folio; but, were foiled by Md's bluffing with a fake dart gun. Co revealed that she wasn't a thief, but was really doing a "sting" just to catch Stan. Md advised C not to discount her imagination and he replied that he "lived in fear of her imagination." At the train station, Farrow announced that it was sold out and they couldn't buy a replacement for M. Just then, H showed up with the coat and ticket and announced that he had "stopped trying to stop you." As M was boarding, the ticket flew out of her hand in the wind, and Farrow left alone on the train. M turned to H and said: "I'm ready, are you?"

Back from the reverie, everyone had left already and C was asking H if he was going to follow them. H told M that he had "just been pondering the road not taken… yet!"
4/2/2004Hard Time
by Dana Coen
201
[This is such an incredibly absurd episode, and the expectation that the JAG audience is gullible enough to believe it is so condescending, that it reduces it to the level of an adolescent 'soapbox opera' or 'sitcom.' It is hard for me to believe that it even deserves retelling! I wouldn't, except that the premise, that two 'poppy seed' bagles can ever be 'mistakenly' the source of a false positive drug screen, cannot be left unchallenged. Ms. Coen not only wrote an exceedingly poor episode; but, compounded it by perpetuating a drug user myth, and completely fabricating her own medical reality. The premises are childish, the dialog fabricated and the actions are out-of-character. Where is this series going?] Mac (M) prosecuted PFC Michelle Boyer for 'Heroin use' and won a conviction yielding 1 year confinement. The 'brig-chaser' let Boyer get in M's face and ask if she'd ever 'regretted sending someone away?" Then, when M answered 'no,' Boyer cold-cocked M to the ground. T asked for another three years, and the judge gave her four! Then, when M found that the same incompetent 'brig-chaser' was being assigned to move Boyer across country, she asked the convening authority, Col Okerman, to assign someone else. You guessed it, Okerman was the overused, arrogant, condescending, resenting women in military type and refused. Then, when Chegwidden (C) tried to intervene, Okerman demanded that M be assigned to do it (!) And C agreed (!!) They couldn't find military transport (!) went commercial (!) with a layover in Cincinnati - Boyer's 'hometown.' (!) Boyer 'disappeared' in 15 seconds from a restroom stall with M standing in front of it (!), then was recaptured when she went for a smoke (!). No more flights to San Diego until the next day and a weenie security boss forced M off the airport (!) Of course, sharing the same room made them best of buddies, so M took her the next day to see her daughter in her boyfriends custody (!) where she, again unattended, stole pills from a bathroom and tried suicide. Again, missing the apparently 'only' flight from Cincinnati to San Diego (!) and giving M the opportunity to feel sorry for her and take her to a beautician, and shopping and out to eat (!) Of course she would pig out on muffins and begin to retch and be taken to an ER where an eager 'intern' would recognize 'poppy seed' induced 'false positive' drug test and offer that 'some people's system's are more sensitive' and he would run 'allergy tests' to prove it (!!!!) C goes to bat for M against little Lord Fauntleroy Okerman to obtain a new trial and M testifies that even she wouldn't have had better control if she'd been falsely convicted (!) [This is the kind of crappy writing that lost the show ratings and got it cancelled!]

Harm (H) and Bud (H) were assigned the case of Senior Chief Paul De Fina who's CO, Stotler, stupidly revealed De Fina's HIV status to PO McMichael, who had gotten a 'couple of drops' of blood on his sleeve from De Fina's cut hand without either proper rationale or precautions for confidentiality. Of course, McMichael gossiped it all over the unit. Again, the arrogant, know-it-all Stotler not only compounded the harm by relieving De Fina of duty, but basically told H "oh well" when the harm his actions had caused was pointed out. De Fina wanted to proceed with charges for reversal of the decision but his wife, who was also HIV positive, refused to talk to H and B. De Fina had been shot in a rebel uprising in Africa and received 'tainted' blood according to the hospital. B, in his meticulous follow-up, found the treating doctor who said that he remembered the case and didn't give any blood transfusion. H and B manipulated a confession from De Fina's wife who had found she was HIV positive while her husband was away then let him think that he had infected her. De Fina filed for divorce and got a position as HIV case manager at Bethesda. Stotler wanted H to get De Fina back because he was now short of trainers; but, De Fina refused.

Meredith came to visit C. Coates didn't keep her out saying "I'll pay for this, but it's in his best interest." Meredith said she didn't come to patch things up or ask forgiveness, just "couldn't let us part without words." C said: "goodbye." When she said "I deserved that," he told her that "falling on your sword" was embarrassing and he wasn't "playing out a scene from a bad movie with you." She told him that "Allesandro is married, so I am not worthy of being with any man, especially you." And "I've done this four times. Two acts of unfaithfulness and two I just disappeared." She said it was a pathology, self-destructive behavior. He told her to "go to a Therapist and stop working it out on the unsuspecting." She tried to start requesting something; but, he shut her off with "not this time" and "somewhere down the line with someone else." She left.
4/30/2004Fighting Words
by Matt Witten
203
[The point that Mr. Witten was trying to make - and make and make and make - was that the, all to visible, Iraqi terrorists were NOT following the Muslim religious precepts that they profess. Unfortunately, so many points were superficial, and obvious counterpoints so often completely ignored, that the plot seemed contrived and forced. The self-serving, sensationalistic reporter was, however, all too familiar - if not an overused character type.]
The SECNAV introduced Major General Earl Watson and his Iraqi counterpart General Mohammed Jabra at a press conference where ZNN reporter Jill Waddington grandstanded and accused Watson of having an offensive attitude toward the Muslims. She claimed that she had "just happened upon" (a lie) Watsons guest sermon at a Baptist church, where he called it a "second rate religion" and that "we were doing battle with the devil." The SECNAV ordered a JAG investigation and (surprise) Harm (H) and Mac (M) disagreed on about everything. Watson told M that the religion "has a warrior streak which is too easily appropriated as justification for holy war." M began her arguments with him by saying that Islam explicitly condemned terrorism. Watson said that Waddington's reports weren't accurate or complete. He had spoken that it was "Christian duty to protect people from terrorism" and told the two to ask the congregation for the complete truth. Unfortunately they interviewed seven people who had all seemed to hear the talk completely differently. Turner (T) offered to help M, who was having back pain, with the prosecution saying that he had never heard his chaplain father say anything against any other religion. Then Waddington brought out never shown, archived footage of another "sermon" Watson gave 4 days after 9/11 over 2 1/2 years previously. Watson had said the US was under attack by people who were following the Koran's advice to "Fight unbelievers wherever you find them" and that we were "a Christian army who will win this holy war." The SECNAV bumped it to an official court of inquiry, closed to the press, who began asking questions like: why didn't you get your speech approved by public affairs? And why did you wear your uniform? M tried to belittle H saying: "why aren't you offended by his speech?" H told her that the general had spent, and nearly given, his life to defend our right for free speech, "now you want to take away his right to freedom of religion and speech - why doesn't that offend you?" T found that Waddington had actually received her tip from a Cpl Hamud who was getting out of the service.

T received notice of an investigation into his "anti-Korean bias" charge from Lt Yi. Chegwidden (C) assigned Bud (B) to investigate saying that if it wasn't true he wanted T's record cleared. B argued that he had been in the exact same place, having Ts career in his hands, a year ago. C quipped "well, fortunately, he survived that experience!" T worried to M that his prosecution of Watson was hypocritical. She told him that "you're far too obsessively rational to be prejudiced against anyone." T took B his notes and information and told him that he "would do a fine job." Coates (Co) nagged C for a press release and he told her that what the country needed was more baseball heroes. When she said she wasn't a fan of baseball, he said "I've fired people for less." He dictated a memo to the SECNAV and included the part about baseball heroes, so she said she would write the first draft for his signature. The whole gang cornered Co in M's office and asked about Meredith. H said "we know that you know something." She told them "yes, I do… and the admiral won't be saying those two words." Hamud told M that he had met Waddington doing a story at boot camp. He called her after hearing of Watson's new appointment because he had been offended by Watson's "trash talking Islam" at an "interfaith" sermon after 9/11.

The board of inquiry recommended court martial and on the stand Watson said that he had been asked to be a guest speaker at a church meeting, in a chapel, days after 9/11 when emotions were high and did wear his uniform but made it clear his opinions were his own. To M's caustic examination he said: "I expressed belief that God is not neutral in the struggle between freedom and terrorism. M sniped back that she "thought God would prefer that people didn't throw his name around quite so much." M called the SECNAV to testify against Watson but H countered all of her arguments. Jabra testified that most Americans "can't tell the difference between real Islam and the terrorist perversion of Islam." He said Watson's remarks didn't really bother them because they were "just words." After saying that the people were glad of the help to rid them of Saddam Hussein, he said that he could "cut Watson some slack" because the speech was made after 9/11. He then told the court that he, personally, found Christian ideas odd; so, "if I find your religion a little bizarre, I can't get angry with you finding mine equally strange." Waddington reported that she "wondered if the prosecution was really trying to win," and M called her a "stupid twit." T brought in reverend Haynes, from Watsons previous speech, to explain the slides he used. One showing Baghdad on fire he said showed "the devil in the smoke." Watson explained to H that while he was there with his men, in battle, in danger, he believed that "God had permitted him to see the face of the devil" which had given him the strength to go on. He gave H one potential witness for his character. Mrs. Sattar's husband, Ayman, was killed in a fedayeen ambush and Watson had come to the house to express condolences. When found that she had breast cancer that the Iraqi hospital couldn't help, he arranged for his church to bring her to America for treatment, let her live in their housing and drive her to the Mosque every Friday for worship. H called Watson to the stand and he did well. M felt it necessary to give a lesson on Islamic belief's saying that "Jihad" only meant "to struggle or strive," only considered "warfare justified for self-defense or liberation," had rules against killing "children, women, elderly and other non-combatants… including suicide." She said that "they are not following Islam any more than Timothy McVeigh was following Christianity." [The authors left out that McVeigh never claimed to be on a Christian crusade or that "official" Islamic leaders aren't seen to actively refute or "excommunicate" terrorists] The court found Watson not guilty on the charges; but, the judge recommended formal counseling and ordered not to assert belief's in public forums. As Watson was walking out with H and M, they saw a news report of 18 killed in a Fallujah suicide bombing by the "fire of Allah" claiming a "glorious victory in this holy war." Watson excused himself. H said "that's why we need men like the general." M sniped "or not."

Yi told B that T had allowed a sailor to antagonize a North Korean skipper and supported him being tied up. He said that T had made statements showing he had little respect for Koreans. B told Yi that he had spoken with his father, who had been shot by a black man, and found him to be bigoted against blacks. He asked Yi to tell him honestly that he hadn't at least once questioned his own motives against T. Yi dropped the charges and B told T that he "wasn't going to let you down this time." C told Co about the most famous Jew in the 1930's. Hank Greenberg, AKA "hammerin' hank" was a hall of fame 1st baseman and left fielder who took the Detroit Tigers to four world series. Greenberg, C said, did more to combat anti-Semitism in the 30's than any other man. "What the world needs now," C said, "is a Muslim who can hit 60 home runs!"
5/7/2004Coming Home
by Stephen Zito
202
["Harm helps protects a mother of a marine killed in action while serving in Iraq from overzealous reporters. In so doing, he works to prepare her for the upcoming burial of her son. Mac & Bud are called upon to see why armored vests given to soldiers in the field to protect them, instead are failing to do what they were designed to do."]
5/14/2004Trojan Horse
by Darcy Meyers
204
["Navy SEAL's come under the microscope when a large amount of heroin is intercepted and confiscated, only to have a kilo of it turn up missing. And Bud comes to the aid of a Marine singer who is being harassed by the record company that he is under contract to, when they object to him serving in the war."]
5/21/2004Hail and Farewell (Part I)
by Dana Coen
205
[Season finale (a real downer!).] An attempt to rescue three men in a Zodiac life raft, during a severe storm, failed. Three of the men attempting the rescue, drowned as well. Chegwidden (C) sent Turner (T) to the Thomas Lyons to investigate, where he was stonewalled by the captain claiming to have a "classified" mission. T found little information, but when he went to fax his report back to Chegwidden, the communications officer said he would have to "check" the names in T's report against those on the "list" which were not to be released. Looking over his shoulder, T saw that Webb (W) was one of the classified three, who had been drowned. W had told M (M) that he was going to Germany, and promised that he would make his absence bearable for her by communicating with her every day. She began receiving German gifts, including a German singing group, and had flashbacks of their last few times together and his promises. T returned and bumbled around M which made her suspicious. She went to Ws office and found Laurie June, his assistant, closing out his office. She saw that Laurie had been sending M the presents, as if they had been sent by W himself, and tricked her into admitting that W was in the Tripler morgue.

Mattie began wearing her mothers old locket and told Harm (H) that her dad had not done any prison time after he had "killed her mother" by being drunk. That didn't make sense to H who investigated the police report and found that her father had not been drunk. H talked to Mattie's father, Tom, at his rehab facility, and heard him blame himself for being in "denial," and for not paying attention, which made him skid on the ice. He had the letters, that his wife had sent to him, and gave them to H for Mattie to read. Mattie refused point blank, but then didn't come home from school and missed her first Al-a-Teen meeting. She walked in, just as Coates and H were calling the police, then stormed into her room refusing to talk. Later she told H that she had read the letters and was reconciling with her father.

C began, according to Coates, "loosing it" by: singing "Ta Dah" after giving Harriet (Ht) a commendation from the SECNAV for her USO Christmas show; calling T by his first name; and giving Bud (B) two eagle bookends to "thin out his stuff." He discussed with B the "solid ceiling" he had on his rank, due to his handicap. Then he reserved the Annapolis officers club for his formal "dining out" party. He started the rumor, with Coates, that he was retiring, and gave her the manual for the Dining Out saying he would appoint an officer as "Mr. Vice." Ht announced that she was pregnant, with twins, and was requesting an inactive reserve billet. C appointed Ht as "Madame Vice" and had bagpipes play as he made his entrance as the "President of the Mess." Mikey (Mk) was charged with having his glass empty, and requested B as his council. B explained the infraction, and Mk was fined $5 to charity. H toasted C that his retirement would "take him to a place of peace, contentment and natural fibers." C gave a great speech about spending time with his daughter, visiting ball parks, and how he would remember everyone. As his last official act as JAG, he swore B in as Lt. Cdr., having written a six page letter to the promotions board. He was shown walking out of the club in slow-motion, looking back at everyone and remembering.

M had worsening back pain and H made a doctors appointment for her. The doctor said it was referred pain, and ordered a laparoscopy. She was shown giving M the results, but they weren't revealed out loud. She eventually talked with H and complained that men just "seem to come and go" in her life, except for him. When he said he would always be there for her, she said there was something that he had to know, and told him. He recalled for her their 5-year agreement which was up this week and told her: "the offer still holds." [So, it's anyone's guess what next season will be like - let's hope they are not going to mess with a good thing!]

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National Defense Service RibbonGlobal War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal - awarded to service members who serve in military EXPEDITIONS to combat terrorism on or after Sept. 11, 2001 i.e. Operation Enduring FreedomGlobal War on Terrorism Service Medal - awarded to service members who serve in military OPERATIONS to combat terrorism on or after Sept. 11, 2001 i.e. Operation Noble Eagle

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